


When the Wind stands fair

by ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Date in ancient Rome, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Female Doctor (Doctor Who), First Time, Mentioned Past Companions (Doctor Who), Mentioned Past Doctors (Doctor Who), Post-Canon Fix-It, River meets 13 for the first time, Slow Burn, Space Wives, as a woman that is lol, starts out fluffy but gets intense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars/pseuds/ElsaIsThereLifeOnMars
Summary: The Doctor finds her new regeneration has a lot of emotions and a lot of regrets, most of all, she wants to spend time with her wife. After a whirlwind date in ancient Rome she quickly realises that these stolen moments would never be quite enough... She needed River back, maybe she would finally find a way to release her from the Library.
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 98
Kudos: 300





	1. It'll be fine... right?

**Author's Note:**

> Haven't written in a long time but when you find a ship you just got to go with it! And what better thing to happen than when the main character from a show you already like anyway suddenly turning female and stunning? And your OTP suddenly becoming femslash? So yeah, you can all expect a LOT of 13/River fic to come your way. Hope you enjoy!

Timelords - or in this case Timeladies - didn’t require much sleep. Something to do with the two hearts. So when the Doctor lay on her bed in the Tardis, she was mostly just tossing and turning and watching the ceiling while her thoughts wandered. She found this new regeneration did this a lot, she wondered about things, overthought things and delved into her emotions, which, to be fair, were rather treacherous waters. One minute she would be thinking about the best way to reroute the backup system’s power to install a popcorn maker to the Tardis’s flight deck, the next she would be remembering that time Amy and Rory had insisted on taking him - her - to the cinema. And she would feel a wave of joy at those memories and then a wave of grief at her loss.

Maybe this regeneration, being female and all, just felt a lot more… whatever it was, it took some getting used to. Somewhere way off in the corridors of the Tardis she heard Yaz’s high pitched laughter and Ryan shouting something she was unable to make out. Maybe she had gravitated towards this group of people to have more company, more distractions, less time to think and feel and— ugh. It was no use.

The Doctor flipped over on her bed, buried her face in her pillow and pulled the duvet over her head. Why couldn’t she just go to sleep like normal people did. Her head was just so… full. So many lifetimes, so many emotions that she had buried deep down, particularly during her last regeneration. She had built walls of steel around that dude and with one waft of regeneration energy - poof - gone. And all of a sudden the Doctor was all soft and vulnerable and, well, tiny! She wanted that guitar back, she wondered if she could still play it or if her fingers were too small for the strings… Nevertheless, she was beginning to love this body, definitely an upgrade in other areas. She knew there was a person that would certainly appreciate that too. She’d once compared her to her second wife after all… technically she was her first husband - wife - whatever. These gender pronouns were messing with the Doctor’s head more than the actual conundrum she was facing.

The memories of River Song always intruded at the most inopportune moments. Like when they were running through an 19th century banquet fleeing from a troop of heavily armed robots and the Doctor just happened to remember how beautiful River had looked when she had wrapped his bowtie around their hands for their makeshift ceremony. River would really appreciate this new body, she knew it. Particularly since good old Eyebrows hadn’t been the most lighthearted, fun or touchy feely of fellas. And she had spent 24 years with that bloke, had she been in this body already, feeling things the way she was feeling them now… The Doctor blushed into he pillow thinking about how much more fun they could have had, she certainly had a lot of regrets… not that they didn’t have fun, they did, and it was deep and romantic but well, there could have been more of everything. The Doctor felt she deserved more, they both did. And why shouldn’t she have that opportunity? When River had met Eyebrows she hadn’t recognised him - her - so who was to say she couldn't meet her again before Darillium? After she’d last met Bowtie, somewhere around there, if she could find out when that was for both of them… shouldn’t do anything to their timeline then should it?

“Should be fine.“ The Doctor mused as she flipped over again and stared at the ceiling. The Tardis gave a low hum in response. “It’ll be fine, why wouldn’t it be fine?“ She shrugged and sat up. She crossed her legs and ran her hand through her blonde hair to sort out the messiness of sleep/not sleep. “She’ll love me like this.“ There was another hum from the Tardis. “Oh shush, she’s my wife, she’ll appreciate this. Just got to work out when and where. The perfect date.“ She got to her feet bouncing a little on the bed as she did so, suddenly full of energy and excitement. Yes. Why not see River, she could be careful and time it right. She ignored the Tardis’s protest as she jumped off the bed and pulled her boots on. “Gang, get in here a minute!“ She called out bursting with excitement.

“I thought we weren’t doing ‚gang‘.“ Ryan commented sticking his head in.

“That wasn’t much of a nap, Doctor.“ Yaz observed, the Doctor had only gone to lie down about half an hour ago.

“Not got time to sleep, lots to do.“ The Doctor explained. She nearly collided with Graham who was carrying a plate of biscuits as she made her way to the door. “Ohh, custard creams.“ She grabbed one and steadied Graham. “I need your help, need to plan something.“ She stuffed the biscuit in her mouth and carried on through the door, the others followed.

“Are we going somewhere?“ Ryan asked, they all struggled to keep up with her.

“Yes, to see someone very important. I’ve put it off until now because… well, bit worried about the fabric of the universe. Plus feeling a bit guilty. And anxious cause I can’t predict her reaction. I’ve had like 21 separate stress dreams about this. Hence the lack of sleep.“ She explained going off on a tangent. “But it’ll be fine. I’ll feel better when it’s done and I’ll just need to plan it right, that’s all. No biggie.“

“You know you talk about twice as much and twice as fast when you’re nervous right?“ Graham asked as they followed her onto the flight deck. “What is it you want to do?“

“I want to take my wife out on a date, the best date, the date to end all dates!“ The Doctor turned and exclaimed in excitement.

“Your what now?“ Graham looked at her in total confusion.

“My wife, she’s great, you’ll love her, she’s an archeologist.“ The Doctor carried on only paying mild attention to their dumbfound expressions.

“I thought you hated archeologists.“ Yaz interjected equally as confused.

“Your wife?“ Ryan repeated to make sure they had heard her right.

“Yeah, been married a long time. Well, not sure quite how long, it’s all a bit…“ She waved her hands around, lacking another way of explaining how complicated it was. “Timey wimey complicatey.“ She hopped around the console pulling leavers and pressing buttons setting coordinates.

“It always is with you, in’tit, Doc.“ Graham observed and she shrugged.

“Where is she now, why is she not travelling with you?“ Ryan asked. How would anyone pass up the chance to go with the Doctor, particularly if they were married to her.

“Timestreams, time and space going …“ She made a explosion noise and gestured wildly. “She killed me. She saved me. We broke time. Restarted it. She went to prison. I became scottish. Spent a night together that latest 24 years, well, long story.“ She grinned excitedly and her three companions just stared at each other utterly confused. “Plus, she said only one psychopath per Tardis, whatever that was supposed to mean.“

“That sounds…“ Graham couldn’t find the words.

“Just like you Doctor.“ Yay finished his sentence.

“Well, all you need to know is that our timelines don’t run linear and alongside each other. The first time I met her was the day she died and we were heading opposite directions.“ The Doctor tried to explain more calmly, realising that she had probably thrown a bit much at them. “Every time we’ve met after that has been out of sync. We kept diaries to compare were we are in each other's timeline. She travels through time as well so we can never be sure. It started off just being linear in opposite directions but it’s more of a …“ She gestured wildly.

“Huge mess.“ Graham interjected.

“That probably describes it, yes. So we just need to be extra careful when we do come across each other not to do anything that messes up our timelines, we can never stay together for too long…“

“That’s really sad…“ Yaz observed realising how hard that was on both one of them.

“It’s fine.“ The Doctor tried to sound casual and cheerful as she always did but it was somewhat less believable than usual.

“Starcrossed lovers across time.“ Graham added.

“Well, just got to make the most of it… and try not to break time… again. I wouldn’t change anything though, she wouldn't allow me to either.“ Her words echoed in her head as if she’d only just said them. Time can be rewritten. - Not those times. Not a single line. Don’t you dare. There was a moment of silence, all sorts of emotions playing on the Doctor’s soft features and her companions watched her closely, the Doctor very rarely let them see behind the facade of giddiness and wonder. But as quickly as the change of mood had come on, she shook off the feeling and continued: “Well, that was deep dark and depressing, to more cheerful things. She’s not seen this regeneration of me yet so I want to surprise her. She’ll love it. Take her on a date, should be great fun.“

“And you’ve worked out how to do that without making the universe collapse?“

“Well, I’ve tracked her movements through time, obviously, just got to find a point where it’s not so crowded by, well, me.“ She explained. “Easy peasy. Any time before Darillium and after she's released from prison, I went to see her there a lot when I was Bowtie, don’t want to run into myself.“ She mused.

“Bowtie?“

“Yeah I don’t really know how to refer to my previous regenerations so I’m just going with distinguishing features, Bowtie, Eyebrows… Bowtie was when we got married. Those were the good times.“

“So you’re married to a criminal, she was in prison?“ Yaz tried her best to wrap her head around all this information. “What was she in for?“

“Murder technically…“ The Doctor shrugged and at the sight of her companion’s expressions she elaborated. “Well, my murder. I said that earlier didn’t I? She killed me but didn’t actually so it’s all good, we made prison fun.“ She pressed a few more buttons on the console assuming the topic was done with. “I’m thinking Luna University, never really went there much. Didn’t want to interrupt when she was actually doing something productive and, well, right for once.“

“Is that a university on the moon then?“ Ryan asked.

“Bingo! 10 points! Very prestigious, did a semester in British Royal History once after having tea with Elizabeth the third.“

“Right…“ The three companions just looked at each other.

“Anyway, River should be teaching there right about… now.“ She pressed a final button and placed her hand on the lever to get them going.

“River? Is that her name? That’s pretty.“ Yaz offered trying to be encouraging.

“Doctor, no Professor, she should be a professor by this point, Professor River Song. Well actually her name is Melody Pond but she goes by River Song, long story, her parents were… I’m rambling again aren’t I, shall we just go?“

“Let’s.“ Graham agreed quickly and the others nodded. The Doctor pulled the lever and the Tardis lurched forward and spun into action.

“So she’s not met you looking like this yet?“ Yaz confirmed and the Doctor shrugged.

“Nah. Always been a man up until this point.“ She look at the monitor observing their flight path, doing her best to hide how anxious it actually was making her.

“Do you think she’ll mind?“

“No. … I mean probably not. Last time I met her she compared me to her second wife… so maybe I’d already met her by that point but she didn’t tell me to preserve the time stream. And I mean, she spent 24 years with Eyebrows and he, well I, was angry and Scottish then so this is definitely an upgrade. I’m adorable.“


	2. Hello Sweetie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't promise I'll update as quickly as this all the time but I was on a roll. Enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!

When they stepped out off the Tardis onto the Luna University campus it was nothing like the moon that the three companions knew. It was a very green campus in the classic Oxbridge style, only very high above them, the habitation globe came into view giving away their location and lack of atmosphere. Students went about their business walking past the Tardis as if it wasn’t even there.

“Love it here, so much knowledge in one place.“ The Doctor was giddy, full of excitement.

“So… what do you want us to do? Do you want us to come along, or…“ Yaz tried to sound casual, she couldn’t deny that she was very curious about the Doctor’s alleged wife but she also didn’t want to intrude.

“Probably best if we meet back here. Could be quite a shock for her as it is… don’t want to overdo it.“

“If I’m getting you right, you’re already going from being the woman’s husband to being her wife, think you can hardly overdo it from there…“ Graham mused.

“We’ll go and have a look around and meet you back here then, yeah?“ Ryan suggested.

“If I’m not back in an hour, come and find me.“ The Doctor said locking up the Tardis.

“You’re worried about getting lost, Doc?“ Graham frowned, this didn’t seem like the most dangerous of places.

“More worried about River being River.“ The Doctor checked her pockets to make sure she had everything, she smirked to herself a little remembering her wife’s impulsive character. “I just hope she doesn’t have a gun… surely guns aren’t allowed on campus, right?“ The three companions exchanged worried glances as the Doctor waved bye to them. “Oh and keep thinking about possible date locations, I honestly haven’t got a clue yet, I’m not great at this sort of thing!“ She called over her shoulder and was off.

“No pressure then.“ Graham huffed and they set off in the opposite direction to explore.

——

The archeology building was easy enough to find, things hadn’t changed much since the Doctor had last been here. She headed straight for the board where a list of the day’s lectures was posted. She couldn’t deny the fact that she was actually really curious to see River in her normal every day environment and seeing her give a lecture would certainly be a rare treat. It didn’t take her long to find her name on the board and she was relieved to find she had actually got to the right place at the right time.

“Take that, universe.“ She grinned to herself chuffed that for once she hadn’t been blown off course and she sprinted down the corridor in excitement. If she hurried she would be able to catch the back end of the lecture. She found the lecture hall and hesitated for a moment, the doors were obviously closed and she would be crashing in very late indeed, knowing her wife the way she did, she wouldn’t be pleased… but then, when had the Doctor ever been hesitant to crash into anywhere or made an effort not to annoy her wife? She opened the door and at full speed immediately crashed into someone that was just leaving. There was a huge crash, papers flying everywhere and both the Doctor and the young student she had run into ended up on their backsides.

“Are you okay? So sorry!“ The Doctor exclaimed jumping to her feet trying to help gather the papers together.

“It’s fine…“ The student mumbled who had turned bright red as suddenly the attention of the entire auditorium was directed at the commotion and he fled the attention as quickly as he could while leaving the Doctor with everyone’s eyes on her. For a moment she locked eyes with River Song across the room and she was lost for words. She looked exactly the way she remembered, just younger, long before Darillium… Her wild curls, bright eyes and that disapproving frown.

“In or out, don’t just stand there.“ She snapped at her in annoyance and the Doctor found her voice again.

“Yes uhh, so sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, sorry, I’m just gonna sit and… carry on, please…“ She slid into a seat in the back row turning bright red. Not the first impression she had wanted to make but probably just as well and very much in character, River might guess it was him - her - just from that. River, however, didn’t pay her any more attention, instead she went back to her script and gestured towards the hologram of a huge insect next to her.

“As I was saying, the Klikiss in their time have gone through several life cycles, swarming across the galaxy…“

“Yes, the Klikiss, LOVE the Klikiss, fantastic race, great language, so clever once you work out the series of clicks and noises, and music, they love music, I once played the breedex a guitar solo and…“ The Doctor found herself interrupting before she could stop herself. She was just so damned excited and the Klikiss were such a BRILLIANT race. They were so popular with archeologists and if the Doctor had known River was one of them she would have taken her to meet them and told her all about her previous encounter with them. 24 years together and she still didn’t know all her interests.

“Sorry, who are you?“ River interrupted her rambling.

“Oh I’m…. Jane Smith!“ The Doctor grinned smugly, very proud of the hint, hoping River would pick up on it but she didn’t. Or even if she did, she didn’t let on, she was just annoyed.

“Well, Miss Smith, if you had been here when the lecture started you would have known that the Klikiss have died out. There hasn’t been a swarming for thousands of years, all the knowledge we have today is based on excavations on their colony planets so I would appreciate it if you didn’t parade like you have an idea what you’re talking about.“ She scolded her.

“Yes, right, sorry, of course, carry on…“ The Doctor held up her hands apologetically.

The lecture carried on and the Doctor had to really bite her tongue not to interject again. It was fascinating though, seeing River in her element. Their encounters had always just been adventures, a lot of danger, running and saving each other. Or the Doctor fixing things that River had caused because, let’s face it, she had never been the most upstanding of citizens. But here, River was astonishing. She was an animated confident speaker and held everyone’s attention with ease. Nevertheless, the Doctor kept checking the time on the clock above the door behind her. She shifted in her seat impatiently, she wasn’t someone that liked to sit still for long. She had probably changed positions five times and was now sitting on the back of the chair, her boots on the seat and her coat down to the floor as the lecture drew to a close.

“Are there any questions?“ River asked as she gathered her papers together.

“Oh, I have a question!“ The Doctor exclaimed immediately her hand shooting up into the air.

“Of course you do…“ The Professor frowned at the way she was basically standing on the chair with her colourful outfit and bright smile. “Ask away if you must.“

“I don’t think it’s of interest to everyone though so I’ll ask after class.“ She beamed at her and she could sense River’s annoyance from here.

“Right then, if there is nothing else, enjoy the rest of your day, assignments due by the end of next week.“ With that she dismissed the students and everyone got out of their seats and started packing up. Having nothing to pack up the Doctor just lingered waiting for the room to clear, she stood on her chair to be able to keep an eye on River, making sure she didn’t leave through a side exit. She had a habit of doing that. When the majority of students had left, the Doctor skipped down the stairs and came to a halt right in front of River who immediately took a step back regaining her personal space. The Doctor took a deep breath summoning her courage and holding her nerve as River gave her a quick once over. “I’m not sure how much of a question you can really have regarding a lecture that you only heard fifteen minutes of but please, by all means.“

“It’s not actually relating to the lecture as much as it’s relating to you.“ The Doctor admitted. Slight technicality.

“No, I will not supervise your thesis, I have no time for that with my own work at the moment I’m afraid.“ River replied quickly, clearly the answer to a question she had been asked a lot.

“Oh no, nothing like that. I’m not even a student. I mean, I was at some point or will be, depending on how you look at it but not currently.“

“Then why are you even here?“ River looked at her utterly confused.

“Will you go on a date with me?“ The Doctor blurted out.

“Sorry what?“

“A date. Like when two people go and do something together. We never dated enough. Like sure, we did stuff together but they weren’t dates, it wasn’t just for fun… well it was a lot of fun but that’s not what I mean, they weren’t like proper dates, like romantic… I mean, there is something romantic about it but not…“

“Should I know you?“ River stared at her unable to make sense of what was being thrown at her.

“Yes! Did you not get the hint? Jane Smith? Come on, that was clever!“ The Doctor was thoroughly chuffed with herself.

“I don’t know anyone by that name.“ River shook her head slowly.

“Well of course it’s not my name, it’s an alias. But you actually happen to know my real name. Not many people do, in fact, it’s one of the best kept secrets in the universe.“ The Doctor went on.

“I don’t know who you are.“ She looked her up and down absolutely puzzled. There was something about the woman, something oddly familiar, the way she talked, the way she held herself, that horrendous style of fashion… She looked into her eyes, impossibly deep and expressive and … old, she couldn’t think of a better way to describe it.

“I was really hoping you would just work it out cause I don’t know how else to say this, I don’t know…“ The Doctor averted her eyes suddenly feeling really self-conscious. Maybe she had made a mistake coming here. Not just for the sake of space and time but for River. Was she even ready to see another version of her - him. If she had calculated right, she had only met Bowtie up until this point. “River, you’re my… I’m your…“ She broke off again. “Maybe this was a bad idea. You’ve only met one version of me, you didn’t recognise me the other time either, maybe this is too much, and too confusing… but I didn’t think it would matter to you, I’m still me, just new but hardly different… But maybe this was a bad idea. I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I mean, time and space, you and me, what if I calculated something wrong? What if I’m not actually where I meant to pick you up? Oh God, have you got your professorate yet? You do, right? Must be in the right place then. Sorry, I talk a lot when I get nervous. And fast, I talk fast. A lot and fast and I talk a lot to begin with, so…“

“You do, you do talk a lot…“ River just looked at her utterly transfixed. There was something so familiar about her. She felt a strange pull towards her but it couldn’t be, could it? It wasn’t out of the realms of possibility, there would be other forms, other faces, but right here? Right now? Her face fell as a possible explanation dawned on her. “It can’t be.“

“Yes, River, It’s me.“ The Doctor breathed a sign of relief when she saw a flicker of recognition in River’s eyes.

“If this is a trick, if you’re…“ River took another step back unable to fully grasp the magnitude of the moment. She shook her head a little.

“It’s me River, I’m the Doctor.“ She tried, she really did, but her voice faltered just a little. Too many emotions welling up in her all at once, bursting to come out. She wanted to hug River, hold her close, shower her with kisses but she couldn’t, not yet. Her wife still looked back at her as if she was seeing a ghost.

“You are, aren’t you.“ River breathed accepting the virtually impossible. But it wasn’t impossible, not for them. It was… just another day when the Doctor came to call. He just… she just… never failed to surprise her.

“Hello Sweetie.“ The Doctor gave her an emotional half smile as she stood rooted to the spot.

They just stared at each other, neither of them sure how to proceed. River did her best to overcome the doubts in her head. Could this really be the Doctor? Of course she knew that there would be different regenerations of him or should she say 'her‘ now? But that didn’t mean that she was prepared for it. She had known the Doctor, her Doctor for so long, this was just… too much to grasp. Yes, the more she thought about it, the more it made sense, the mannerisms, the way she talked, it was all there. And it was all there in her eyes, the knowledge, the adoration, the love…. She had never been able to see that love so clearly and it made her heart flutter.

The Doctor for her part just waited, yearning for River to do something, anything. After all this time, the Doctor just wanted more. More of everything. Yes 24 years on Darillium had been wonderful but it was just not enough. It would probably never be enough, she knew that. But she had so many regrets, so many more things she wanted to do and experience with River. She wanted time. More time. Time to show her her feelings, her heart, in ways that she just hadn’t felt capable of before.

“Where… when… are you, are we?“ River asked slowly.

“Well, uhhm…“ The Doctor reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her diary that she hadn’t used in a very long time. Since Darillium she hadn’t expected to see River again so she had had no use for it. River looked at the diary, an exact copy of her own with the Tardis design. “For me, well… I’ve done it all.“ The Doctor confessed. “Lake Silencio, Hitler, Manhattan… Darillium…“ She stopped short of mentioning the library.

“He always said he would take me to see the singing towers but always cancels…“

“I do, River, I always cancelled.“ The Doctor interjected softly, hoping to help her see that they were genuinely the same person. “But I couldn’t put it off forever, we will go, did go, to Darillium. I’ve done it all but… I just needed to see you.“ Her voice almost faltered. “God, this body is terrible, can’t even get my words out.“ The Doctor half laughed, half sobbed. This regeneration was just so much more emotional.

“I wouldn’t say that, dear.“ River half smiled looking her over and the Doctor felt a weird sort of relief, even if it was just an off hand comment, there was a little bit of that characteristic River flirtiness hidden in those lines. “Fashion choices still leave something to be desired though.“

“Hey, what’s wrong with my outfit?“ The Doctor frowned feigning hurt. She took a twirl. “Come on, this coat is great. Personally, I think looks wise, I’m the best one yet! I would definitely have fancied myself.“

“Can’t argue with that.“ River couldn’t help but agree. It certainly wasn’t the body or the persona that were putting her off, it was just… well it was a lot to take in, she just wasn't her Doctor… but she was the Doctor, that much was becoming clear.

“I know this is a lot, River and I’m sorry.“ The Doctor said more softly. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come… it’s selfish but I just… I want more time with you. I want us to have more time.“

“So do I, we never have enough time, enough of anything…“ River agreed with a hard to read expression.

“Then come with me, go on a date with me, get to know me… again. This version of me.“ The Doctor took a hopeful step closer to her.

“You were serious then? You’ve come here to take me on a date?“

“Yes! Promise you’ll love it. I mean, I haven’t quite figured out where we’re gonna go, gotta be honest, but I got some ideas!“ She carried on excitedly.

“I don’t know, I have a lot of work to do…“ River scolded herself for that answer but she was torn. Of course she wanted to go but equally, was she ready to let go of her version of the Doctor yet? Or was this just a mute point as they were one and the same? Should she be so narrow minded to think it made a difference? In her heart she knew it didn’t. The Doctor was the Doctor and he - she - was hers. And she couldn’t deny the fact that the Doctor’s lips looked oh so kissable right now…

“You know I can drop you back at the same point in time, come on. Come and see the Tardis, you’ll feel better, maybe then you’ll… actually believe me.“

“I believe you…“ River replied.

“Not really, you don’t, and that’s okay, but maybe when you see the Tardis…“ She let her voice trail off. She extended her hand to her. “Come run with me, River, for old time’s sake…“ The Doctor wouldn’t take no for an answer, she could sense River’s internal conflict but she was determined to help her overcome it. She wouldn’t lose her wife, not like this, not to a mere technicality and poor timing. Because that’s all it was, she had loved all her previous regenerations, it was just this time, she’d only been with one of him - her - yet.

“I’m not sure about the accent…“ River chuckled a little.

“What’s wrong with the accent? Better than when I was Scottish!“ The Doctor was slightly offended.

“When were you Scottish?“

“Before this, after Bowtie.“ She shrugged, she didn’t think that was giving too much away.

“Bowtie?“ River was amused despite the seriousness of the situation and the whirlpool of emotions.

“Yeah, you know, Bowtie… when we got married.“ The Doctor attempted to clarify.

“Oh, right.“ River laughed a little. “Yeah, I can see that now…“

“So what do say? The last time you should have seen me, if I did this right, was after the angles in Manhattan… I asked you to travel with me and you said anytime, soo… what do you say?“ The Doctor smiled at her hopefully.

“Yes I suppose I did say that…“ River looked at the hand extended to her. Petite fingers, soft skin, so different and yet…

“One trip in the Tardis? And if you're not feeling it, well, I’ll try again one day after another regeneration, no biggie, if this doesn’t quite do it for you.“ The Doctor shrugged trying her best to sound like she didn’t care, like she had all the time and patience in the universe when in reality, her heart was aching for her.

“Well I certainly didn’t say that, darling.“ River took her hand and the Doctor felt an incredible sense of relief as a wide grin spread on her face.

“Brilliant!“ She exclaimed and she stumbled a couple of steps closer when she suddenly gave her a slight rug towards her. River raised her other hand and brushed the Doctor’s blonde hair back, she ran her fingertips along the earring on the shell of her ear, down her jawline and tipped up her chin a little.

“You really are adorable.“ She confirmed with a little smirk that made her feel more secure and like herself again, particularly as it had the desired effect of making the Doctor blush furiously. Then she let go off her and walked past towards the stairs. “Shall we? Where are you parked?“ The Doctor missed her touch instantly and turned still feeling a little stunned.

“Yeah, right, okay, let’s get a shift on.“ She grinned regaining her composure.

“Please at least try to speak a bit more properly.“ River chuckled playfully rolling her eyes at her.

“Right, noted, no promises but let’s go.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, would love to hear your thoughts!


	3. When you love the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! I have a feeling that this will end up being way longer than I originally intended, it was meant to be a little fun fluffy piece but those plans have evolved lol. Much more to come. Hope you enjoy this one with River meeting the fam! Please let me know your thoughts!

Chapter 3

How long had it been since the Doctor had last visited her? River wasn’t quite sure but it had been a while. Long enough for her to actually settle into some sort of routine at the university. Of course she thought about him - _her_ she corrected herself again - a lot, yearning for the next adventure. She did a bit of travelling on her own here and there, supplementing her research if things weren’t going so well. Nothing like a genuine artefact to get a research paper off the ground. But every time she made a jump through space and time, she secretly hoped to encounter the Doctor who would scold her for cheating in her work.

Now at long last she was following the Doctor to the Tardis again. It was surreal and there were a million thoughts on her mind. None more prominent at the moment than how much she loved the way the sunlight reflected in the Doctor’s golden hair as she skipped ahead of her full of excitement. The Doctor had always been very excitable and River’s heart swelled at the fact that even after so many lifetimes she was still excited by her and would seek her out, no matter how dead set time and space were against them. 

“Right, here we are!“ The Doctor clapped her hands together as they reached the Tardis and River felt her heartbeat quicken at the sight of the familiar blue box. Maybe the Doctor had been right, maybe she hadn’t fully believed her up until now. But this was the Tardis and this was the Doctor, her Doctor. “Can’t wait for you to see the inside, she’s had an upgrade too!“ The Doctor pushed her hands into her pockets looking for the key. “Now where did I…“ It took a moment and River found herself chuckling already, of course the Doctor would misplace the key. “No need to panic, it’s all good! Don’t laugh.“ She shot River an offended glance and managed to find the key at last. She pushed it into the keyhole to unlock it but it wouldn’t budge. “Why are you trying to embarrass me?“ She groaned at the box.

“Here darling, let me.“ River smiled and pushed the Doctor aside a little before turning the key and pressing her shoulder against the door gently. This time, it gave way.

“She did that on purpose.“ The Doctor huffed.

“She probably did.“ River agreed in amusement and they stepped inside. The Doctor hung back a little, allowing River to make her first tentative steps into the newly decorated interior. River experienced the strangest mix of emotions, she felt like she was coming home after a very long day and equally, everything was new and exciting. It took her breath away for a moment like it had the very first time she had stepped inside the Tardis. The Doctor just watched River who slowly walked up to the console and placed her hand on it. “Hello old girl.“ She whispered in greeting and the Tardis replied with a low hum. The Doctor smiled, she looked so happy. It wasn’t that she had looked unhappy before but this was a different scale. She looked so much more like River now, her River, the River she had travelled with, the River she remembered and wanted and loved. Slowly the Doctor walked up behind her.

“So what is it like being back?“ She asked softly.

“Hasn’t changed.“ River commented.

“Well, it has changed.“ The Doctor laughed a little and gestured all around her. “But yeah, I know what you mean.“ She watched the emotions playing on River’s features carefully. “It’s all been here waiting for you. Waiting for you to come back.“

“Waiting for _you_ to come back, actually.“ River pointed out and the Doctor had to take that.

“Yeah well… I’m here now aren’t I? … I’m sorry, I should have come back sooner…“ She admitted, her voice laced with regret.

“You probably shouldn’t have come back at all…“ River mused and they both knew she was right. “But I’m so glad you did.“

The Doctor placed her hand on River’s that was still resting on the console like she had done a million times before, like it was the most natural thing in the world. She just needed to feel connected to her, needed to feel that she was actually there and that this wasn’t just a dream or figment of her imagination. River looked back at her as if she was seeing her, really seeing her, for the very first time now.

“Doctor…“

“Yes River?“ She tried her best to sound smooth but flirting was really not one of her strong suits. River turned towards her and a brush a strand of hair from the Doctor’s face. The Doctor bit her bottom lip, God, River really was stunning wasn’t she. She looked up at her and suddenly realised what was different from before.

“Nooo this is terrible.“ The Doctor groaned and River looked back at her confused.

“What is?“

“You’re taller than me now!“

“Oh.“ River laughed a little, she hadn’t even thought about that. She looked down at her and realised she was actually quite enjoying the height difference. “Yes I guess so.“ 

“No, this is bad, I don’t like this, I was always the tall one!“ The Doctor complained.

“Life is full of disappointments my dear.“ River chuckled. “Whats the issue with being shorter?“

“Well, you know. You’re always on the back foot aren't you, being short. Always having to look up to people, not being able to reach the top shelf…“ It wasn’t helped by the fact that River always wore heels. Now the Doctor stood a couple inches shorter than her.

“Darling, you have always been on the back foot where you and me are concerned.“ River retorted teasingly.

“Yeah, well…. well…“ The Doctor couldn’t really argue with that and blushed a little.

“You really are adorable, aren’t you.“ River smiled. She could get used to this, she really could. The way the Doctor was looking up at her with those big eyes, full of wonder, excitement and promise. Her soft features, silky hair, tempting lips… Suddenly the door creaked open.

“Oh, so sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.“ Yaz felt like she had to say something to announce their arrival, the three companions stood rooted to the spot very much aware that they had just interrupted something. The Doctor and River looked around surprised, having been engulfed in the moment.

“Ah yeah, fam, yes!“ The Doctor exclaimed trying her best to mask her disappointment at being interrupted at such a delicate moment. If only they could have hung one five more minutes… “Come in! River, this is my fam! My…“

“Your companions.“ River concluded looking at the three people that just piled into the Tardis looking thoroughly uncomfortable. “Three, that must be a new record for you.“

“It’s a lot of room to fill, isn’t it. The Tardis. Plus I couldn’t pick. Who was I gonna pick? They’re all brilliant!“

“I’m sure they are.“ River forced a smile, she would have rather been alone with her but she should have expected this, the Doctor rarely travelled alone.

“This is Yaz, Ryan and Graham.“ The Doctor pointed them all out to her. “Fam, meet River.“ It was the shortest introduction known to mans. There was a moment of awkward silence, then Graham took the plunge.

“So you’re the Doctor’s…“

“Wife.“ River nodded wanting this bit to be over with.

“Yes.“

“Wasn’t it an alternate timeline that we got married in?“ She looked around at the Doctor raising her eyebrows.

“Still counts.“ The Doctor insisted. “She’s only messing. She knows it still counts.“ She added towards her companions.

“Does it?“ Ryan asked a little confused.

“Yup. Yup. Definitely counts. Old Timelord law. Once you're married in one timeline, you're married in all the timelines. And to all the regenerations. You’re not getting out of this.“ She shot a glance at River. “Should have included that in the prenup. HA!“

“If we had had a prenup dear, things would be a lot different around here.“ River mused having a look around the place.

“You do bicker like an old married couple.“ Yaz interjected and Ryan and Graham laughed in agreement. The atmosphere lightened.

“Oi! I’m not old.“ The Doctor was offended.

“You are the oldest I’ve ever seen you.“ River pointed out.

“Rude! You’re lucky looks don’t equal age! I think we both got very lucky with this regeneration, actually.“

“Yes and so far I’ve only seen the face.“ River winked at her and the Doctor blushed scarlet. “On that note, shall we get going on that date you promised me?“ She carried on in her flirty voice and ran her fingers along the collar of the Doctor’s coat.

“Yes. Date. That’s right. We were going to go on a date. Now I remember…“ She nodded automatically trying to gather her thoughts. She turned to look back at her companions who were in equal measures embarrassed by their flirting and amused by their bickering. “Yes, Fam, what have you come up with?“

“You asked them to pick our date?“ River confirmed with a sigh. Of course she had.

“Well, all this was very short notice… I couldn’t think of anything, I’ve used up all my good ideas in the past. I’ve taken you on more dates than you know!“ She tried to defend herself.

“Will the five of us be going on a date then?“ The professor carried on.

“No! No, of course not, just us.“

“We’ll go our separate ways once we get there.“ Graham assured her.

“Where are we off to then?“ River asked giving in. There was no point in even discussing it any further.

“Broadway.“ Graham suggested.

“Not Hamilton again!“ River shot the Doctor an accusing glance.

“You loved Hamilton!“ The Doctor exclaimed. In all fairness though, they had been there on a previous date.

“Yes, the first five times!“

“Met Gala.“ Yaz offered.

“Bit stuffy don’t you think?“ The Doctor scrunched her nose. “Not very me.“

“Walking in the peak district?“ Ryan suggested and both women just looked at him without needing words.

“Has it occurred to you that maybe you should have come up with something yourself if you dislike all our suggestions?“ Graham asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Rome!“ Yaz blurted out and everyone looked at her.

“Rome could be fun…“ River mused almost surprised that she liked the suggestion.

“Surely for an archeologist like yourself it should be really interesting.“ She explained glad to have come up with a good option.

“Well it’s not so much that as it is the Gladiator fights and hot thermal baths…“ She admitted with a shrug. The Doctor also seemed to like that idea.

“You know that ancient Rome was such a model of a modern society, raising living standards, protecting their citizens, I mean alongside ancient Greece, they championed democracy and in the Senate they…“

“Darling, would you like to hold a speech in the Senate or would you rather go to the baths with me?“ River interrupted her. The Doctor failed to answer as no words would come out. “Thought so.“ She smirked. “I’m off to get changed.“

“You are?“ The Doctor looked at her in surprise as she turned an headed towards one of the corridors.

“Yes, I’m not going to walk all around Rome in heels. I’m assuming there is still a wardrobe of mine in the spare bedroom?“ River looked around at her to double check.

“Could be. I haven’t cleared anything out…“

“Of course you haven’t.“ She chuckled.

“Which spare bedroom?“ The Doctor called after her but River had disappeared into the corridors of the Tardis.

River kept walking for a while until she reached the familiar looking room where she had over time accumulated some of her things after every journey. She took a step inside and it was like nothing had changed since she had last been here. She doubted the Doctor had ever been in here, she didn’t even seem to realise that her things were here. River took a deep breath, she didn’t really need to change but she needed a moment to herself to process. Just to think and work things out without the Doctor’s puppy dog eyes on her. God, those eyes. She was struggling to make sense of the whole situation and establish how she should carry on. She was the Doctor’s wife, that hadn’t changed. The Doctor was still the Doctor. River’s feelings for the Doctor remained the same. Arguably she found her even more attractive now than ever before. So what the hell where they even doing going on a date when they could be falling into bed instead? River knew she had her own reluctance to blame, if she had got over her initial shock quicker she could have kissed those beautiful lips by now. Instead, now the Doctor seemed to feel like she had to win her heart again. River felt terrible to have given her that impression. She still loved the Doctor with all her heart regardless of her appearance. Now she wished she had been able to come out with that straight away. She had always been the one to question whether the Doctor loved her as much as she loved him - her. She hated to have turned that feeling back on her now.

“You alright Doc?“ Graham asked slowly after an extended silences upon River leaving the flight deck.

“Yeah, fine. Why would I not be fine?“ The Doctor looked up from the console where she was inputting coordinates while being deep in thought.

“Well, it’s just, you seem really quiet… very unlike you.“

“Nope. Totally fine. In fact, better than fine. Really looking forward to Rome.“ She retorted but her usual beaming smile was somewhat lacking.

“Did things not go so well when you first met up?“ Yaz asked.

“Everything went fine.“

“Then why are you acting like a seagull just stole your sarny?“ Graham questioned. The Doctor didn’t answer. She didn’t know how to put her feelings into words. All this time she had assumed she would have the opportunity to finally erase River’s doubts about how deep her love for her ran. But it never occurred to her that they would be on the other end of the scale where she couldn’t be sure of River’s feelings. She remembered how River had spoken of her - him - when she had thought he - she - wasn’t there. _When you love the Doctor it’s like loving the stars themselves. You don’t expect the sunrise to admire you back. And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!_ He - she - had proved something then and she intended to do so much more this time around but now she finally understood those words better than she would have liked.


	4. Welcome to Rome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River and Team Tardis arrive in ancient Rome and split up so the Doctor and her wife can finally enjoy some alone time... but as usual, wherever the Doctor goes curious things start happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated rating for some quality alone time... lots of actual plot though, things never go smoothly for the Doctor do they? Hope you enjoy! Let me know your thoughts! Also, no guarantees for historic accuracy lol but I do try.

Chapter 4: Welcome to Rome

“Rome. April 45 BC!“ The Doctor extended her arms in triumph as they stepped out off the Tardis. It was a beautiful day, the sun was warm on their faces, there was a light breeze and the hustle and bustle of the biggest city of its time. What a sight it was. The white antiquated buildings all around, restored to all their glory, tall and impressive. There were a lot of people too, they seemed to have stepped onto a market square, there were vendors and people browsing, there was food and street artists…

“It’s like a huge street fair!“ Graham pointed out looking around in wonder.

“Yes! Biggest party in the Roman Empire. After Julius Caesar defeated his last opponents in the battle of Munda, he held the biggest games and celebrations Rome had ever seen!“ The Doctor explained rather smugly, very happy with her choice of time and date. The put her hands on her hips and nodded approvingly.

“You know at this point it’s still considered the Roman Republic, right?“ River asked looping her arm around hers. She had changed into a casual dress, an outfit that distinctly reminded the Doctor of what she had worn at Demon’s Run when she had revealed her true identity to him - her. She had always liked her in that outfit…

“Yes thank you dear.“ The Doctor rolled her eyes and her wife shrugged.

“Good. Just checking.“ 

“Anyway, this is the best Rome has to offer, all in one day. Food, drink, gladiator games, there will be a parade, get your fill of the ancient world today!“

“Ohh I want to see the gladiators!“ Ryan exclaimed in excitement.

“Do you actually think it’s fun watching people kill each other?“ Yaz interjected.

“Well not if you put it like that but do you really want to skip the games when you’re in actual ancient Rome?!“

“Right, while you guys argue about what you do or don’t want to do, we’re off.“ River announced. It was high time that she had some alone time with her… wife. That word still sounded very surreal, even in her mind, but she was determined to overcome her reservations.

“We are?“ The Doctor looked at her.

“Definitely. “ River confirmed as she pulled her along the stalls. “Later Fam.“ She called over her shoulder and the Doctor only managed a little wave. Ryan, Yaz and Graham just watched them disappear into the crowd and shook their heads at each other.

River didn’t stop marching until they had crossed the square and eere out of sight of the rest of the group. She could breath a bit easier now. She didn’t like the way they were watching them all the time. It probably wasn’t even intentional but they clearly couldn’t help themselves. She understood it too, they cared about the Doctor and therefore wanted to get to know River in turn. But a lot of expectations seemed to come with being the Doctor’s wife and she didn’t want to have to live up to whatever expectations they had. She was only just starting to figure out what she was expecting of herself.

“So what do you want to do?“ The Doctor asked with a smile. She couldn’t deny that she was also quite glad to have some alone time at last.

“Baths are that way.“ River smirked, she was curious to see if the Doctor would actually go for it. There was plenty of things they could be doing but, well, River hadn’t spent quality time like that with the Doctor in a long time, she presumed it had been even longer for the Doctor.

“Are you actually serious about that?“ The Doctor blinked.

“Scared, are you, Doctor?“

“No!“ She protested immediately. “Why would I be scared? I’m not scared of anything.“

“Well I know that’s a lie.“ River chuckled. “Fairly certain I used to scare you.“

“Used to terrify me but not anymore.“ The Doctor insisted trying to sound confident.

“Then come for a bath with me.“ She stepped closer to her, ran her hands along the collar for her coat and down until she reached her hips. She tugged her towards her a tad, holding her firmly, smiling a confident, flirty smile. The Doctor found it hard to focus. Fuzzy brain. She didn’t like fuzzy. Awash in hormones and sensations. River was the only thing she saw clearly. “Come on, I know you want to.“

“Lead the way.“ The Doctor gave in unable to form any other coherent thoughts. River smirked. It didn’t take too long to find a suitable spa. River led the way, curious to see for just how long the Doctor would go along with it. In the past, the Doctor would have amused her for a while but ultimately probably bailed. She could see so many of his characteristic traits still but she was looking for the subtle differences, the ways in which she had become more than what she had been before. Maybe she was just a little bit braver or a bit more impulsive this time around? They stepped into the steaming baths, the air was wet, warm and heavy and the Doctor immediately felt hot. “Not sure I can be dealing with this, not meant for the hot climate, me.“ 

“Well, you’re not meant to be wearing your coat in here.“ River felt the need to point out. The baths were rather empty, probably due to the games about to start, some women were relaxing in the pools.

“Didn't think there would be as many pools as this.“ The Doctor commented, calling it as she saw it, as she looked around.

“No need to share with anyone if we don't want to.“ River added in a sultry voice.

“Can I be of assistance?“ An attendant dressed in a plain white toga approached them.

“Oh no we were just…“ It was the Doctor’s automatic response.

“Going to undress, where might we do that?“ River interjected before the Doctor could sound the retreat.

“Right though there.“ The attendant pointed out a room to their left where people had shed their clothes and left them to it.

“What, you just strip and walk over to the pool, no towels? Dressing gown?“ The Doctor was suddenly very self conscious.

“This is ancient Rome, darling, the Romans were anything but prudish. They knew how to have fun.“

“I know how to have fun. Maybe I just have a different idea of fun.“ She tried to defend herself and River tilted her head a little in amusement.

“So you are scared.“

“No I’m not, I just…“ She couldn’t think of a valid argument. Just then a thought crossed her mind. “I know! Tardis perception filter! Same way they can’t see my actual clothes they wouldn’t be able to see me naked either. HA! Smart. You knew that. You’re testing me.“ The Doctor exclaimed smugly.

“Doesn’t work on me though.“ River replied in amusement.

“Well, not like you haven’t seen it a thousand times. Like every date we’ve ever been on. I mean, not this, you haven’t seen this but doesn’t make a difference, technicalities…“ She shook her coat off and dropped it onto the marble bench next to her. River looked at her genuinely surprised.

“You do realise this was a dare for the most part, right?“ She felt obliged to admit at this point.

“Oh…“

“Just wanted to see if you would…“

“Well, I uhm… would have, if you… actually, that’s what you’re actually wanted to do, so … I think maybe me hormones just went a bit over active…“ She blushed. There were still alot of things she had to learn about this body.

“Did they?“ River smirked and reach behind herself. Skilfully she undid her dress and let it drop to the floor around her feet. “How about now?“

The Doctor just stared at her, opened her mouth, then shut it again, she had no words. It wasn’t like this was the first time she had seen her in her underwear before, they had shared a bed for 24 years and yet… Definitely hormones.

“You’re cute when you blush like that.“ She slowly pushed down the Doctor’s suspenders and slid her hands under the rainbow t-shirt.

“Rainbow, see, cause I’m embracing my sexuality.“ The Doctor tried to joke to cover her nerves.

“Of course you are.“ River chuckled as she moved the Doctor’s t-shirt up and pulled it over her head. She brushed her fingertips against her flat stomach. “I must say, I don’t mind…“ The Doctor didn’t know what she was going to say next but she assumed to was something witty and flirty. Instead of letting her finish, she launched forward and kissed her. Impulsive. A bit messy. But with a lot of heart. She surprised herself and brought her hands up to hold River’s face steadying herself a little.

“Sorry.“ She breathed as she pulled away a bit searching River’s eyes for a response. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…“

“Oh darling, you can interrupt me all day.“ River whispered and kissed her back. The Doctor felt her hearts flutter, she closed her eyes and leaned into her. God she’d missed this. River kissed her the same way she always had, just the angle was a bit different.

“Glad you decided to take those heels of.“ The Doctor chuckled softly against her lips. “Don’t want to be straining my neck.“

“You kiss differently now.“ River observed as she raised her hand to wipe off the smudged traces of her lipstick now on the Doctor’s lips. She ran her thumb along her lips thoughtfully. She noticed how her own mannerisms were changing to match the new situation. Their flirting felt a lot more sensual now than it ever had with her previous regeneration.

“I do?“ The Doctor struggled to read her expression. Was that a good or a bad thing? Good because it was exciting and new or bad because it was unfamiliar and didn’t feel right?

“Less intense, more feeling, less handsy.“ River explained a little amused at her concerned expression.

“I can do intense and handsy.“ The Doctor attempted to flirt, she felt a little better seeing the smile on her face.

“I’m sure you can.“ She smirked but took a step away from her and reached for a sheet from a pile of neatly folded cloths on a bench. She held out it out to her. “Don’t say I never give you anything.“

——

Ryan, Yaz and Graham made their way through the crowd just wandering around, they were taking it all in and still couldn’t quite believe they were in actual ancient Rome. When you travel with the Doctor, you just never know what wonders wait right around the corner.

“What do you think they’re doing?“ Yaz mused as they had a look at the stalls on the market. She had found some very pretty bracelets but unfortunately they had no money.

“Enjoying some quality alone time, I presume.“ Graham answered. “I’m sure they got plenty to catch up on.“

“They do make a strange couple though don’t they.“ She carried on.

“How so?“

“I don’t know, they just don't seem…“ She didn’t really have a reason at this point.

“Yazmin Khan, are you jealous.“

“No, i just don’t want to see the Doctor get hurt!“

“Well, they have been married for a long time by the sounds of it, I’d expect a bit of awkwardness if one of you changed gender, wouldn’t you?“ Graham reasoned.

“Can’t imagine the Doc being a man.“ Ryan interjected.

“She’d probably have been even more immature…“ Yaz commented. Something in the distance caught her attention.

“Do you think they actually went to the baths?“ Ryan carried on.

“Probably…“ She nodded absentmindedly still trying to work out what she had seen.

“That’s one way to rekindle things, no bathing suits in ancient rome.“ Graham chuckled but Yaz wasn’t listening now.

“What are you looking at?“ Ryan noticed that she was distracted and tried to follow her gaze.

“Did you see that?“

“See what?“ Graham asked and looked around as well.

“There it is again, flash of light…“

“You know what the Doctor would say now, right?“ Graham said, they all saw the flash that time around.

“Transport beams.“ Yaz and Ryan called in unison. Suddenly, in one big flash a whole troop of aliens transported into the market square. Instinctively the three companions dove behind a stall and scrambled under the table. Hiding was a vital skill when travelling with the Doctor.

“Who are they?“ Ryan asked sounding worried.

“Nevermind who, more importantly what are they doing here?“ Graham replied and they lurked out from under the table to see what was going on. The aliens were hard to miss, they were tall, very slim long necks, tripod legs, milky skin, face that looked like a cross between a human and a snake.

“They don’t look too friendly.“ Ryan pointed out. “Why is no-one else noticing them?“ The locals didn’t pay them any attention and kept going about their business.

“The Emperor is in the arena, we must demand our prize.“ The alien language was being translated by the Tardis’s universal translator and they barely caught it as they moved away marching towards the arena.

“Who are they after?“ Ryan asked.

“Who’s the most significant person in this time period and having one hell of a party for himself?“ It was Graham’s best guess but the others agreed that it made the most sense. “Where is the Doctor when you need her to explain the timeline damage if they interfere with Caesar.“

“We need to get her.“ Yaz decided as they got up from under the table.

“You do that, I’m not going to be the one to crash her date.“ Graham held his hands up.

“Technically the aliens are crashing the date…“ Ryan pointed out. “But yeah, we will go and keep an eye on them if you go and get the Doctor.“

“Cowards.“ Yaz rolled her yes at them but they didn’t have time to argue. “Be careful.“

“You too, reckon you’ll be in more trouble than us.“ Graham chuckled as they set off in opposite directions.

——

The water was warm and pleasant as the Doctor stuck her toe in.

“Could have just gone in the Tardis jacuzzi.“ She pointed out. She had draped her sheet around herself like a cape keeping her modesty while River had tied it around herself much more elegantly like a towel.

“You’re the one that wanted to go out on a date, I would have been happy to stay in.“ River shrugged and took a step in front of her slowly walking into the water. She took the sheet off and dropped it onto the side of the pool before carrying on. The Doctor just watched her in awe, she was glad no-one seemed to be paying much attention to them cause it was probably quite blatant and embarrassing the way she stared at her wife. River submerged herself in water having a little swim around the pool, just enjoying the feeling of the warm water. She had her back towards the Doctor still who figured out she was probably doing it on purpose to make her feel a bit more comfortable. So the Doctor quickly threw off her towel to get in the water while she wasn't looking.

There was a huge splash and River looked around in alarm. The Doctor resurfaced gasping for air. She shook her wet hair like a dog and wiped the water off her face looking thoroughly embarrassed. “Did you just slip and fall into the pool?“ River confirmed unable to keep herself from laughing.

“Maybe…“ The Doctor coughed, water had gotten into her lungs. “This body is quite clumsy…“ River gave her an adoring smile and swam over to her. The Doctor coughed again and River brushed her wet hair back and and rubbed off the Doctor’s smudged mascara from underneath her eyes.

“To be honest Doctor, when you came to call, I thought you had changed so much, I was worried too much… but I’m starting to think you haven’t changed at all.“ River chuckled, it was meant as an off hand comment but carried a lot of meaning. It gave the Doctor a surge of confidence and hopefulness.

“I have changed, well, improved, in some ways.“ She retorted with a bit of a smirk as she reached out and absentmindedly brushed her fingers along River’s collar bone.

“Yeah what’s that.“

“I got a much better understanding of the female body now.“ She grinned pleased to have delivered the line as smoothly as could be expected of her.

“Let’s put that to the test, shall we?“ River captured her lips in a passionate kiss and the Doctor was more than eager to respond. She buried her hands in River’s curls and pulled her close. River looped her arm around her petite frame, her other hand on the Doctor’s neck tipping her head slightly. Yes, the height difference definitely worked for her. She pushed her back against the side of the pool. “No-one here but us.“ She whispered to her intending to soothe any anxieties she might be experiencing right now, the pool they were in was empty and so close to the wall, they were out of sight of prying eyes. The Doctor felt the cold marble against her back, River’s warm body against hers, her hearts picked up speed, her mind was foggy. There was a strange pull in the pit of her stomach radiating down, it occurred to her that female arousal felt different from what she had known.

“This is gonna be interesting…“ She grinned excitedly with scientific curiosity as she kissed River again, eager for more.


	5. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what are the aliens up to in Rome? It's never just a date with the Doctor, is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this next chapter, tried to make it sound a bit more like an actual DW episode, it was pretty fun to write, let me know what you think! :)

Chapter 5: Run

Yaz hurried off in the direction that she had last seen the Doctor and River go. Surely it couldn’t be so hard to find them? They stood out. She reached into her coat pocket for her phone. The Doctor didn’t answer even after the third attempt so she carried on along the road. She figured she had to be somewhere where should wouldn’t be carrying her phone… Yaz groaned to herself feeling uncomfortable, they probably had actually gone to the baths then… That really wasn’t an image she needed right now but she didn’t have much of a choice. Maybe she was wrong… but it was a good place to start and surely they couldn't have gone far in the last half hour.

——

“Doctor? River?“ This was the third spa Yaz had been too, clearly there were a lot more of them than she had anticipated and she was beginning to doubt her theory. “Don’t mind me.“ She waved at the attendant coming her way as she scanned the pools. “Just looking for someone…“

“Yaz?“ The Doctor looked around hearing the familiar voice. She turned in Rivers arms and pulled herself up the side of the pool a little to be able to wav to her. Yaz spotted her and breathed sigh of relief, she could have been at this all day and they didn’t have that kind of time. She tried her best to ignore the fact that both the Doctor and River appeared to be naked and huddled very close to each other. The directed her gaze to the floor and tried to focus on why she was here. “I’m so sorry but we need you guys.“

“You can’t be fucking serious.“ River growled into the Doctor’s neck. She tightened her arm around the Doctor and held her close against her, bracing her other hand against the side of the pool. She had no intention of letting her go.

“Language!“ The Doctor scolded. “I’m sure there is a good reason why she’s here.“

“There better be.“ River grumbled. “Don’t think you’re going anywhere.“ Knowing full well that her actions were shielded from view, she pushed her hand just a little bit lower and the Doctor really struggled to keep her composure.

“This better be important Yaz!“ She said and tried to subtly move River’s hand away who wasn’t giving an inch. The Doctor blushed trying to focus on Yaz as she waited for an explanation.

“There is a troop of aliens marching on the arena.“

“Don’t.“ River held on to the Doctor tightly in the water.

“Can’t they hang on five bloody minutes?“ The Doctor whined.

“Twenty. At least.“ River insisted kissing just below the Doctor’s earring.

“Don’t think we have that kind of time…“ Yaz suddenly found the marble floor really interesting.

“What are they planning on doing when they get there? Watch the games?“

“They said something about claiming their prize, sounded a bit worrying.“ She answered looking over again despite herself.

“Doctor.“ River warned her but it was too late, with surprising strength the Doctor untangled herself from her wife and was already halfway out the bath before she could stop her.

“This better be quick and easy.“ The Doctor sighed in annoyance marching off to find her clothes and Yaz blushed deeply trying to look away as quick as she could but not quite quick enough.

“Eyes front, little girl.“ River scolded as she got out of the bath herself but had the good sense to grab a sheet and cover up as she followed the Doctor to retrieve their clothes. The Doctor’s mind was clearly already focused on chasing aliens rather than caring about her state of undress.

“I can’t cope with today.“ Yaz mumbled to herself thoroughly embarrassed just keeping her head down as she marched back outside where she intended to wait for them.

——

“So basically they just teleported and started marching off to the arena? Didn’t hurt anyone?“ The Doctor asked as they headed off down the road.

“No, no-one even seemed to notice them.“ Yaz explained.

“Perception filter.“ River commented, she followed a little behind the two of them as they were catching them up on what had happened.

“Most likely.“ The Doctor nodded. “But what do they want here?“

“They said about finding the Emperor probably referring to Caesar. Ryan and Graham followed them.“ They heard cheering up ahead, it sounded like the games were about to begin. A huge crowd would have gathered in the arena now which didn’t mix well with a troop of armed aliens as far as the Doctor was concerned.

“Let’s get a shift on.“ The three of them broke into a run.

——

“I hope Yaz has found them…“ Ryan looked upon the scene in front of them uncomfortably. The aliens had spread out all around the arena amongst the audience. They were all armed, it certainly looked like a tactical move so they could control or attack the crowd better if needed. In the centre of the arena, two gladiators were currently having it out. “Yaz was right, I don’t want to watch this…“

“Let’s keep watching our friends instead…“ Graham said. They had found a spot in the main audience section, not far from the section were the guests of honour and Gaius Julius Caesar himself were sitting. They did their best to keep a safe distance from the aliens.

“There you guys are!“ A familiar voice sounded behind them.

“Doctor.“ Graham was relieved.

“Sorry, wasn’t as easy as all that.“ Yaz said out off breath.

“Been for a nice swim.“ Ryan commented noticing the Doctor’s wet hair.

“Not long enough.“ River huffed as she was scanning the arena. “The Khaldar… interesting. Thought they were all but wiped out since their home world got blown up…“

“The what now?“ Graham asked.

“The Khaldar. They are a mercenary race… but what are they doing here?“ The Doctor was equally as confused.

“Look, something’s happening now.“ The gladiator fight had ended with the victor celebrating and the crowd roaring. As the loser was being carried off, three of the aliens marched onto the sand. As the companions watched them march to stand in front of the balcony, the Doctor glanced over at the Roman emperor trying to make sense of what was going on. Julius Caesar appeared to be shifting uncomfortably in his chair and got up at last to walk to the balustrade.

“Friends of the empire, please come and join me on my balcony, there is no need to interrupt the games.“

“You have been ignoring our demands, this seems to be getting your attention.“ One of the three Khaldar stepped forward as the leader.

“Of course!“ The Doctor exclaimed. “They’re here to demand payment. Someone has not been keeping up their side of the bargain.“

“Are you saying Julius Caesar hired alien mercenaries?“ Yaz asked trying to make sure she was following her correctly.

“Certainly explains how he became such a successful general.“ River raised her eyebrows at the revelation. “He really was clever, wasn’t he.“

“Not very clever if he doesn’t pay up.“ Doctor observed.

“We want our prize.“ The Khaldar leader demanded.

“This is not a great time.“ Caesar tried to look gracious and appeasing.

“This is the best time, payment is due.“ The alien retorted.

“Let us speak in private.“ The Roman leader tried to reason but to no avail.

“We will speak now.“ They pulled their weapons, soldiers were spread out all around the arena, among the population. The Doctor’s breath caught in a slight wave of panic. If they started firing, hundreds of innocent unarmed humans might die.

“Oh no, that’s quite enough thank you very much!“ The Doctor called out and climbed onto a wall to catch everyone’s attention. She waved her arms.

“And who are you?“ Julius Caesar demanded to know.

“Get to you in a minute but for now, can everybody just stand down! Romans have no quarrel with the Khaldar plus you’re interfering in events you really shouldn’t be meddling in. “

“Who is this stranger that recognises us?“ The leader of the Khaldar demanded to know of the Roman leader.

“I have no idea… bring her here!“ Caesar called to his guards who advanced on their groups.

“Fine, I’m coming, no need for a big audience.“ The Doctor waved them back as she balanced along the wall and made her way to the balcony. The rest of them followed rather reluctantly.

“I’d say you already have a big audience.“ Graham mumbled.

“Who are you?“ The emperor demanded to know.

“Not important right now Gaius Julius. Why did you hire alien mercenaries? What did you promise them?“ The Doctor put her hands on her hips.

“You can see them?“ He looked at her confused.

“They’re kind of hard to miss. What did you promise them?“ She pushed on.

“Land. On which to settle so we might stop our pilgrimage from battle to battle.“ The aliens interjected unhappy to be ignored.

“You can’t settle on Earth.“ The Doctor turned towards them crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“It has been promised.“

“Well, it’s not his land to give is it. This world has not progressed to the point where it has one single leader.“ The Doctor argued.

“The roman republic is the only civilised society and I am its leader.“ Caesar was offended.

“What about the Greeks, the Egyptians, places to the East and across the sea? You do not represent the human race.“ She turned shooting him a displeased gaze. Before he could protest, the Khaldar spoke again.

“Do you speak for them?“

“No. Well… yes… If you will. Point is, you can’t stay and settle here.“ The Doctor turned back to them with a shrug. “It’s not gonna happen.“

“A deal is a deal and it must be honored.“

“Isn’t there something else you can give them?“ She looked back at Caesar and then to the aliens again. “Can’t you guys stand a bit closer together, this is hurting me neck. What else do you want?“

“We want what was promised.“ They retorted and the Doctor rolled her eyes.

“You can’t have it. Earth is protected. Look it up. Did you not do your research before coming here.“ The Khaldar didn’t answer immediately. “Oh, see, you did research, you know what happens when people come here uninvited, that’s why you went so far back, thought you would be safe in the past, did you?“

“Who are you?“ They demanded to know.

“Me? I’m the Doctor.“ She answered confidently. “And if you did your research you should know that this is where you should run.“

“Good speech Doc…“ Graham said.

“You liked it? Wasn’t too much? Wanted it to be intimidating but not, you know, big headed.“ She turned to her friends with a grin looking for feedback.

“You? Bigheaded? Never. Shame it doesn’t really seem to do the trick.“ River commented as the Khaldar didn’t move.

“We recognise you Doctor, last of the Timelords.“ The three of them spoke in unison at last.

“Timelady, now?“ River mused.

“We recognise you as guardian of Earth, you can grant permission to settle.“

“No, no, I can’t and I won’t, you can’t settle here.“ The Doctor shook her head, that was not what she had been angling for.

“We will fight you for it. That is how these primitive creatures settle their disagreements isn’t it.“

“Well, actually not a big fan of fighting, me, so…“ She looked around for some back up but didn’t get any, quite the contrary, the Roman leader stepped forward.

“Yes, that does seem agreeable.“ It was a win win situation for Caesar, either these strange people won and he got rid of the aliens or they lost and would take their knowledge of his dealings to their graves and he would just have to pay the aliens off.

“Oi, not you decision to make, Caesar.“ She protested.

“Take them down to the arena.“ He waved to his guards who immediately stepped up to the Doctor and her companions.

“You always manage to find the best date locations.“ River sighed rolling her eyes at her wife.

“Sorry love…“ The Doctor pulled away from the guard that was shoving her into the direction of the stairs. “I can walk myself, thank you very much.“ She looked around at River and the others that were being ushered down the stairs as well. “We both know you would rather an adventure then a leisurely spar day any day.“

“Nothing like a fight to the death to get the blood flowing.“ River chuckled.

“What do we do Doctor?“ Yaz asked slightly panicked as they were being lead down the stairs to where their alien opponents were waiting.

“You must have a plan.“ Graham added.

“She doesn’t have a plan.“ River shook her head.

“I will in a minute if you just shush so I can think.“ The Doctor held up her hands to shush them.

They stepped onto the sand and the crowd roared sensing the games were going to finally continue as no-one had really caught much of their conversation to even gather what was going on. To the audience, the Khaldar looked like ordinary soldiers. They put their laser weapons away in favour of a more skilful and timely mode of fighting as a gladiator provided both parties with swords.

“Bit unfair really, five against three…“ The Doctor observed assessing the situation. At least they had the advantage in numbers but none of them had the same fighting expertise as these mercenaries.

“We will manage.“ The Khaldar leader responded.

“I’m not sure we will…“ Graham pointed out, the sword was much heavier than expected, he had to grip it with both hands.

“How do we know you will leave if we defeat you?“ The Doctor demanded to know.

“We will honour our word.“

“Doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.“ Yaz observed.

“See, I’m not a good swordsman… can’t we do something else? Scrabble? I’m great at Scrabble. Monopoly? Game of Life?“ The Doctor looked down at the sword in her hand. She despised weapons.

“You will fight or you will die.“ The Khaldar stated.

“Alright, you don’t have to be so blunt about it.“ The Doctor sighed.

“I don’t know, darling, I think you look quite hot with a sword in your hand.“ River smirked. “Always the dashing hero, guarding earth, protecting the human race. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back sweetie.“

“Do you two ever stop flirting?“ Graham asked.

“I’ll shut up and just enjoy the view.“ River held up her hands defensively.

“Are you checking me out?“ The Doctor asked looking around to catch her eyes wandering. “As we’re about to fight as gladiators?“

“Maybe.“ She shrugged. “Gives me incentive to get out of this alive.“

“Sorry I got you into this.“ The Doctor gave an apologetic smile.

“It’s never just a date with you, is it?“

“Nope. Sorry.“ She tightened her grip around the hilt of her sword, things were about to get interesting.

Just then, the Khaldar clearly had enough for their chatter because they charged towards them and the crowd began cheering. The Doctor faced forward, intend on defending herself and her friends. She ducked the first swing and managed to parry another. She vaguely remembered fencing lessons when she was a child back on Gallifrey. The Master had usually beaten her, she had never had his aggressive streak and desire to win above all else. The Khaldar leader’s sword crashed into hers with some force, she barely managed to move the heavy implement quick enough to guard her body.

“Certainly explains why there weren’t really many female gladiators.“ She winced as another heavy blow pushed her backwards and she stumbled. She only just managed to catch herself on her knees slamming the sword into the grown. Just not quick enough. The Khaldar fighter loomed over her.

Suddenly, there were three flashes in quick succession of each other and the attackers fell to the ground. The crowd booed, was the fighting over already? The Doctor looked slightly dazed but she knew exactly what had happened.

“River!“ She shouted. Her wife was in fact holding a gun.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it was set to stun only.“ She rolled her eyes at her.

“You know how I feel about guns.“ She stared her down accusingly while scrambling to her feet.

“Yeah and you know how I feel about them.“ Her wife shrugged. “Would you rather I’d let you get skewered? Or us for that matter?

“You literally are the most badass person I’ve ever met.“ Ryan exclaimed. “How come she gets to carry a gun then.“

“She’s prettier than you, son.“ Graham chuckled. The Khaldar groaned and began to move slowly coming to their senses again.

“Probably shouldn’t have turned it all the way down.“ River mused turning the dial up as Ryan had the good sense to rush over and take their weapons before they could fully regain consciousness.

“You cheated.“ The leader growled pushing himself up.

“Yeah well, not me, technically, she did. That’s my wife by the way. She’d have had your heads anyway had you got to me.“ The Doctor pulled out her sonic and scanned the three of them.

“What sort of a weapon is that?“

“Sonic screwdriver, swiss army edition. And you know one thing that it’s really good at? Unscrewing things. Disabling them. Like your perception filter.“ She explained looking at the readings.

“Why would you do that?“

“Because if the people here knew what you really looked like, they would think you were demons or monsters, they would get scared and lash out to protect themselves, like primitive creatures do, isn’t that what you called them? I don’t like your chances versus thousands of humans with their swords and spears and whatever else you can find in a gladiators vault. That thing, whatever that is.“ She pointed at an oddly shaped weapon in a pile to their right. “So I would suggest you leave Earth, leave this solar system, forget all about this place and don’t come back.“ The Khaldar got to their feet growling at them.

“You heard my wife.“ River took a step to stand beside her. “I can assure you I don't have the same reservations about lethal force that she does.“ She raised her gun.

With a flash, as quickly as they had appeared earlier, the Khaldar teleported and departed Earth. They looked around the arena and they were all gone, taken every last one. The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Things could have turned out quite differently if they had called her out on it.

“Nice work, Doctor.“ Graham placed his hand on her shoulder.

“She was bluffing. She couldn’t have disabled their perception filter even if she’d tried.“ River returned her gun to the hidden holster on her thigh.

“River, don’t tell them all my secrets, keep the mystery alive. Also, how did I not see that when we got naked in the baths?!“

“Not without knowing where the filter originated. Or without causing great upheaval to the time line. Aliens in ancient Rome, can you imagine. Point is, they could have killed us. Also, of course I hid it from you, I know how you get around guns.“ She explained.

“But they didn’t kill us, HA!“

“Remind me never to play Poker with you, Doc.“ Graham shook his head.

“Oh no, she’s terrible at poker. Went to Vegas one time he - sorry she - broke me out of Stormcage, ended up in a strip poker game with Cate Blanchett and he was down to his shorts before I’d even taken off my hat.“

“No way!“ Yaz laughed.

“As much as I’m loving you all getting to know each other, I think it might be time to make our escape.“ The Doctor interrupted them as she noticed guards approaching.

“Not so fast!“ Caesar called. “You have questions to answer.“

“Think it’s time to run now?“ Ryan asked.

“Yep, definitely, run!“ The Doctor nodded and they started sprinting towards the big gate through which the gladiators would enter, not the ideal escape route but heading away from the soldiers that were coming after them. The Doctor directed her sonic screwdriver at the chain mechanism that lowered and raised the gate and it slowly opened, just in time for them to run through. She let it slam down behind them as they carried on through the catacombs. The stench was pretty overwhelming but they carried on.

“This way.“ River called leading the way towards the outside.

“This is fun.“ The Doctor managed through laboured breathing.

“You have a funny idea of fun.“ Ryan groaned.

“So everyone keeps telling me.“ She skidded around a corner.

“You owe me a proper date. Flowers, dinner, sex.“ River insisted.

“Does it have to be in that order?“ The Doctor felt the need to clarify.

“Can you two actually get us out of here first and save the flirting for after.“ Graham asked reinforcing his previous point.

“Almost there.“ River called back. They barged through a door and found themselves in bright sunlight again.

“One of the reasons I married you, your superior navigation skills.“ The Doctor bend over, her hands on her thighs catching her breath.

“What a compliment, of all my qualities you could have picked. Shall we make for the Tardis, they’re still after us.“


	6. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is slowly realising that soon, she will have to say goodbye to River again, a thousand fears and worries running through her head as they try to make the most of their remaining time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this took me quite a while to write, things are taking a more emotional turn, plus, had to adjust the rating again and that stuff takes a while to write to (hopefully lol) get right. Fluff is over, bring on some angst but also some sex so yay :D  
> I was really trying to get it right so hope it works.  
> Also, I'm trying to stay close to the canon, to clarify, this is set post Timeless Child. In regards to prison, I'm just assuming she's already got out and is travelling again with the fam. Please excuse any continuity errors, I'm really trying here lol. It seems to be widely accepted that River has two hearts like a Timelord even though it's never properly stated, I'm just going with that cause it just works well for this.  
> Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Chapter 6: Distractions

“I’m sorry River, that wasn’t quite the date I had had in mind.“ The Tardis door closed and locked behind them as they all collapsed and tried to catch their breath. The Doctor took her coat off feeling hot and sweaty, that really wasn’t how she had imagined the day would go.

“Well, at least now I know that disaster still follows you everywhere. No such thing as coincidence with you.“ River dropped onto the steps leading to the console and took some deep breaths. She was just glad she had had the good idea to change her shoes prior to their excursion.

“I do owe you a proper date. Dinner, like you said.“ The Doctor didn’t want that to have been the date. Worst date ever.

“I could eat.“ Graham interjected breathing heavily still.

“Food does sound good right about now.“ River agreed and slowly got back up. “Allow me.“ She stepped up to the Tardis console and started setting coordinates. The Doctor took a step back allowing her free rein. If there was one person she trusted to pilot the Tardis, it was her wife. Annoying, the Tardis herself had been known to work much better for her anyway.

“You know how to fly her?“ Yaz noticed. They had never known of anyone but the Doctor and the Master to be able to, assuming only Timelords could.

“The Tardis and I go way back…“ River answered. She was finding the team’s questions somehow less intruding now. Maybe she was growing more accustomed to them. They had just been through an alien encounter together, that was how friendships were forged.

“River is sort of part Timelord… conceived here in the time vortex.“ The Doctor answered without even thinking about it.

“Thanks for that fun fact, darling.“ River sighed as she set the Tardis going. She literally didn’t think before talking, did she. No filter.

“Hang on… Does that mean you travelled with River’s parents? Isn't that just a little bit weird!“ Yaz looked at Ryan and Graham for confirmation that they shared her opinion.

“There are a lot of timey wimey details that make it make more sense…“ The Doctor tried to reason but to little effect. “It’s not as bad as it sounds!“

“Only marginally better…“ River sighed. “Maybe mention that I was trained to be your perfect assassin, to really top it off.“

“Or that you were also your parents’ childhood friend…“ The Doctor mused.

“Okay, this is getting a bit much.“ Graham interrupted them, none of that made any sense whatsoever.

“It’s a lot… people usually need a flow chart.“ The Doctor shrugged.

“Here we are.“ The Tardis came to a halt. 

“Think we’ll stay in the Tardis this time.“ Yaz said with a smile. “You two have fun.“

“No. Come with us. Let’s have a meal together.“ River said to the Doctor’s surprise. The three companions were equally surprised, they looked at the Doctor as if awaiting her okay.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?“ The Doctor turned to River to confirm.

“We can have alone time after.“ She winked at her wife. “And I would really like to get to know you all.“ She smiled at the companions. The Doctor clearly cared deeply for them so it was only right she made an effort to get to know them better.

“Sounds like a brilliant idea.“ The Doctor grinned. “So where are we, do we need to change?“ She grabbed her goat but decided to ask before putting it back on.

“You, my dear, need to change indefinitely.“ River retorted pulling at one of the Doctor’s yellow suspenders. “Out of those godawful clothes…“

“Are you serious?“ The Doctor looked at her thoroughly devastated.

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous, let’s go eat.“ She winked at her wife and they stepped out off the Tardis onto the planet Maratha, finest food in the Ildiran Empire according to the professor.

——

“That was some great food.“ Graham observed as they headed back to the Tardis.

“Wasn’t is just.“ River agreed with a smile, glad they had all enjoyed themselves. It had been a pleasant affair, she was glad to have taken the time to find out more about the companions. They were funny and kind, she could see immediately why the Doctor surrounded herself with them. It was also another way of finding out more about what the Doctor was like now. With so many people around, it was almost as if at times, the Doctor just stepped back, going into her own thoughts as the conversation continued, less pressure to be engaged at all times. River wondered what had happened to the Doctor since they had last seen each other, wondered what was going on in her head when she was retreating into it.

“I don’t know what was on those skewers but they were mint.“ Ryan said as they opened the door to the Tardis.

“There was no mint on them.“ The Doctor looked at him confused.

“Cool kid talk Doctor, “mint“ means “great“.“ Yaz explained, while the Doctor did sound like a Yorkshire native, she was not quite there with all the 21st century colloquialisms all the time.

“Right…“ The Doctor nodded frowning.

“Anyway, it’s been a long day, think we should all be off to bed.“ Graham said as they were back in the console room. “Thank you for a lovely meal, that really was great.“ He said to River.

“My pleasure.“ River smiled and it was genuine.

“But I’m not even tired.“ Ryan protested looking at his grandfather.

“Let’s go Ryan.“ Yaz grabbed his arm and pulled him along into the corridors of the Tardis with Graham following close behind in order to give the Doctor and River some privacy.

“They certainly are sweet.“ River said when they were gone and turned to her wife.

“That they are.“ The Doctor confirmed. “That was really nice that you invited them along.“

“I wanted to get to know them.“ She smiled with a little shrug. “They care about you a lot.“

“I care about them.“

“I’m glad you’re not travelling by yourself.“ River remembered when the Doctor had lost Amy and Rory to the time jump in New York, how he had been afterwards and when she had warned him not to travel by himself. The Doctor didn’t do well by himself… herself. Too much to think about, too many memories, too much loss…

“I wish you could travel with us…“ The Doctor said quietly. She hadn’t meant for it to slip out but it was the truth.

River bit her lip, she couldn’t explain just how much she wanted to but it wasn’t as easy as all that. It never was with them… but maybe she didn’t have to go just yet…

“Let’s go to bed, Doctor.“ She extended her hand to her.

“But I’m not tired.“ The Doctor replied confused.

“No-one said anything about sleeping.“ River hummed in a sultry voice, dropped her hand and strolled off.

“OH!“

“Catch up Doctor, you should know by now that I don’t like be kept waiting.“ River called over her shoulder as she made her way into the corridors of the Tardis.

“No kidding.“ The Doctor breathed and hurried after her. River found the Doctor’s room with ease having visited many time.

“Tiny bit less messy than your last regeneration.“ She observed as she stepped inside, her wife close behind.

“Sorry, I didn’t think to tidy up…“ She apologised awkwardly and closed the door behind them for privacy. River wandered over to the bed, her gaze immediately drawn to the Tardis shaped diary on the nightstand.

“Do you still keep it up?“ She asked tracing her finger over the blue cover, as much as she wanted to, she didn’t pick it up to read it, too many spoilers.

“I’ve got a bit lazy with it.“ The Doctor replied instead of admitting that it was full.

“Must have been a long time since we last saw each other then if you’ve gotten bored of writing it down…“

“It was just… a lot to write down. Got cramp in my hand.“ The Doctor tried to evade the question, having assumed Darillium to be the end point for them, she hadn’t bothered to write down 24 years worth of experiences together. The diary was only to keep track of their meetings and if there weren’t gonna be any more meetings…

“You’re ridiculous.“ River chuckled and the Doctor shrugged.

“Yeah, well…“ She looked around the room a little not quite able to look at her wife right now. There was a lot going on in her brain, so many worries, fears… what if this was actually going to be it? She had been so excited about the prospect of a date that she hadn’t considered the inevitable departure. She had to leave to be able to go to Darillium as she had… As the reality of her having to leave again was slowly starting to dawn on her she felt helpless. “I don’t know what you see in me River.“ She said quietly. What good was she, the famous Doctor, with her blue box and crazy heroics, if she couldn’t even keep a hold of the woman she loved?

“The universe, Doctor, nothing less.“ River’s response was instant and honest as she stepped up to her drawing her out of her thoughts by kissing her deeply. The Doctor felt it all, the deepness of their love and the overwhelming sense of loss that was setting in again. She willed her mind to stay on task, to focus on River who was right here with her. Right here, kissing her. Beautiful, clever, brave River, so very much alive and kissing her as if her life depended on it. Would she even be able to see her again. Was there any time left? Before the library? Before her inevitable death. Was this perhaps their actual last night together? The image of River, lifeless after the current had run through her, was still engrained in the Doctor’s mind.

“Darling?“ The Doctor opened her eyes to see concern painted all over River’s face. “What’s wrong?“

“Huh?“ The Doctor was confused but then felt the wetness on her cheeks, she had started crying and not even realised it. God, this bloody emotional body. “It’s nothing…“ She tried to wipe away the tears and put on a brave face, put up her walls and mirrors.

“It’s not nothing…“ She had always known that there was a lot the Doctor struggled with but her previous self had never let her have an intimate glance such as this. She was only just beginning to understand the fragility of her state of mind. Something that had probably always been the case but had been well hidden. “Oh Darling… I don’t know what burdens you carry.“

“Spoilers…“ She smiled sadly as more silent tears fell down her face.

“Something must have happened since you last saw me…“ River reasoned and the Doctor actually laughed a little. What HADN’T happened since she last saw her? She had found out everything she knew about herself was a lie. She was no Timelord for a start but what was she? She didn’t even know. She didn’t understand herself. What she gathered was that she was probably immortal. How could she face this universe for all eternity? On her own? Lead countless lifetimes without River? It wasn’t even River’s death that weighed on her now. She had carried that with her since the moment they’d met. It was the knowledge that soon the day would come where her death would be a reality and there was no going back. Their story, though it hadn’t end with her death, was nearly finished. And it broke her heart to know that she would have the rest of time itself to grieve for her.

“I can’t talk about it.“ She shook her head weakly.

“Well, if we can’t talk, lets do something else and distract you. Let’s enjoy this time we have.“ River took her hand and gave it a squeeze. There was nothing else she could do but be here for her.

With a start the Doctor realised she was right. What if this was in fact their last night together, was she really going to waste it crying? No, she wanted to drown these feelings, drown them in River, fill this incredibly painful void with as many moments, as much of River as she could. She wanted to lose these feelings and herself in her. The Doctor launched forward and kissed her feverishly. One hand on her neck, one on her back, she pulled her close and pushed her tongue inside her mouth. River was taken aback by the sheer force, the overwhelming sense of need and raw emotion. She tried her best to keep up as she kissed her back. She made a mental note to revise her previous statement regarding her kissing. This was far more intense and handsy than she - he - had ever been with her before. It was intoxicating. She fumbled with her wife’s trousers. The Doctor grabbed both her wrists and pulled her hands away. River was going to protest but there was that look in the Doctor’s eyes. Something deep, dark and primal, confident and possessive.

The Doctor was only barely thinking about what she was doing. It was all instinct, all need and desire. There were so many things that were out of her control, so many variables, so few options, that devastating feeling of helplessness… But this was something where she could take control. River was here and she was hers, for now at least. She pushed her backwards, River didn’t resist, back, until they fell onto the bed together. The Doctor straddled her wife’s hips and assaulted her lips again. She ran her hands up River’s sides, over her breasts, into her hair, she moved her hips and ground into her. She took River’s jaw and turned her head to the side for better access to her throat. She nipped and kissed her way down her sensitive skin, leaving wet marks and some tiny bruises. She couldn’t stop herself, she needed this she needed all of her.

“Doctor.“ River breathed as she held her wife’s hips trying to shift and move against her for some friction. The Doctor grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head. She wanted to take in and remember every detail, memories it, memories her, the way she reacted to her every touch, the way she arched against her, the way her eyes fluttered and her pulses quickened. “Fuck.“ River moaned, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been so turned on and they were both fully dressed still. She tried to move against her grip but the Doctor held her firmly with surprising strength. It reminded her of some of the previous, more adventurous nights together but never had she seen that kind of a fire in her lover’s eyes. Those eyes. Impossibly deep. They looked almost golden right now, overflowing with energy and heat. It was like looking into a galaxy and the universe staring back. “Fuck me, you’re so beautiful…“ River breathed, the words just tumbling over her lips without any thought.

“I’m about to, darling.“ The Doctor smirked looking down at her. She couldn’t quite believe the effect she was having on her wife, even after all this time and particularly now. She had been a bit worried she would not have the same prowess in a female body but the desire painted all over River’s face was putting her doubts at ease and boosted her confidence. Slowly she let go of her hands and sat herself up. She pulled her coat off her shoulders and let it drop onto the floor behind her.

“Take your dress off.“ She ordered quietly and a shiver ran down River’s spine, the sound of her low voice made her feel breathless. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, impossibly close to the Doctor who was straddling her thighs still. She reached behind herself and unzipped the dress feeling her wife’s eyes on her as she did. The Doctor shifted her weight, allowing her to pull the dress out from under her, over her head and off. “Better.“ The Doctor stated as she pulled her braces down and her t-shirt off.

“You’ve certainly had an upgrade.“ River smirked. She reached around her wife and undid her bra.

“I’m glad you think so.“ The Doctor grinned as she shifted forward a little pressing herself against her. She buried her hands in her wild curls and pulled her head back before kissing her again. River moaned into the kiss and dragged her nails down her back. The Doctor groaned, feeling that familiar heat between them, the desperate longing that she had never been able to replicate with anyone else in quite the same way. “God, I’ve missed this.“ She breathed in between kisses. River reached between them, undid her wife’s high waist trousers and pushed her hand inside. The Doctor nearly jumped and gasped, then eased a little into her touch. Well, that was certainly new.

“First time in this body?“ River chuckled and the Doctor nodded breathlessly as her wife rubbed tight circles across her underwear. She felt the same ache and pull she had experienced in the baths earlier, only intensified tenfold. Her brain was going fuzzy again, she focused on River and only her, memorising every detail.

“Feel like you may have done this before…“ The Doctor laughed softly.

“Once or twice.“ River winked at her. “I really couldn’t care less what gender you take.“ In one swift motion she pulled her wife around and turned them over. The Doctor gasped in surprise, she could have sworn a moment ago she had still been in control of this situation. Now River pulled her trousers off and climbed on top of her. Her curls tickled her face as she pressed hot lips against her throat, kissed up to her ear and tugged at her earlobe with her teeth.

“Careful with the earring.“ The Doctor mumbled, she was losing herself in the sensations, River’s hands were all over her now.

“I like it, it’s sexy.“ River hummed in a low voice. “You’re sexy.“

“Thought you had a monopoly on that around here.“ She breathed running her hands up River’s back before ridding her off her bra as well.

“Not anymore.“ She winked and kissed her again. Brought her hands up to her breast, brushing across her nipples softly, then rolling them between her fingers. The Doctor moaned and squeezed her eyes shut. She felt hot and tense, her nerve endings firing like she hadn’t experienced before.

“Think I’m gonna like being a woman.“ She gasped as River moved down a little and took her nipple into her mouth. She dug her nails into her wife’s shoulders who manoeuvred her leg between her wife’s thighs, pressing up.

“Think you need to stop talking now.“ River chuckled and grazed her teeth over her increasingly sensitive nipple. She cried out for a little bit pain and a lot of pleasure.

“Not sure I can.“ She answered. “So many thoughts, all the time…“

“I can find ways to shut you up, don’t worry.“ River grinned and pushed her hand inside the Doctor’s pants. She gasped as she ran her fingers through her wetness and found the sensitive bundle of nerves. She actually was lost for words for a second, at least coherent ones.

“Fuck.“ Was all she managed.

“Language, Doctor.“ River tutted but grinned like a Cheshire cat. The Doctor never swore. Ever. The Doctor was still trying to wrap her head around these new sensations. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had been a woman. Must have been before the point where the Timelords somehow wiped her memory. So these sensations were all new to her. She had been curious, obviously, when she had first regenerated, who wouldn’t be? But nothing she did by herself could compare to what her wife was doing. She just seemed to know instantly what to do, how to do it.

“It’s not fair, you’ve been a woman all your life to know how this works.“ She groaned grabbing hold of River and pulling her close while her wife continued moving her fingertips expertly against her most sensitive spots. The Doctor felt heat rising inside her, muscles tensing.

“And you, my dear, have been fucking women your whole life so you should have a pretty decent working knowledge.“ She teased nuzzling into her neck, trailing wet kisses along her throat and jawline.

“I know how to do that…“ The Doctor protested weakly.

“Well, we’ll see about that a bit later, won’t we.“ River smirked. “But for now, I must say, this is a delicious role reversal.“

The Doctor panted, this time she genuinely had no words, her body was on fire, the pressure between her legs was almost becoming too much to bear. River pulled her hand away and the Doctor’s rather pathetic, disappointed whimper made her smirk even more. She pulled her wife’s pants down and off, they were only in the way now. She took a moment to just look at her, just for one double heartbeat. Taking it all in. The last time she had been with the Doctor he had been a tall and handsome man, now the Doctor was a petite blonde with milky skin and big eyes. She was stunning and probably didn’t even realise it, or care for that matter. And she was undeniably hers. How did she ever get so lucky?

“River…“ The Doctor pleaded, drawing her back to the present. That did it, that was enough to make River lose all self-control. To have her say her name like that was just too much. River crushed their lips together again pushing her tongue inside her mouth, one hand she buried in her silky hair pulling at it. With her other hand she pushed two fingers inside her. “Fuck!“ The Doctor cried out holding on to River for support. “Right, wow, that’s… different…“ She moaned. It was a lot to compute when all her memories of being with River, of sex in general, were linked to a completely different set of sensations. It wasn’t that one was preferable to the other, it was just different. It was new and exciting and intense. “That’s good, that’s really good.“ The Doctor groaned as she moved her hips against her fingers. River took that as the sign that she was slowly getting used to what she was feeling, so she started to move faster, delighting in the display of emotions on her wife’s soft features. A thousand thoughts were running through the Doctor’s overactive brain, yet none of them particularly clear. It was so confusing to wonder if this was what River had felt when they had made love in the past or if this was just River being amazing at yet another thing, that Timelords were pretty darn lucky to be able to experience both sides of the coin…

“Stay with me darling.“ River whispered giving her a playful little slap refocusing her attention. She could tell when her mind was wandering.

“I’m here, sorry, I’m…“ She rarely noticed it herself when she did it but River was clearly able to read her like an open book. She’d always had that infuriating ability. River pushed into her harder and fast, determined not to let her mind wander again. The Doctor pulled her impossibly close, nails digging into her back, she threw her head back and River ran her tongue up her exposed throat while keeping her rhythm. Something was building inside her now, urging her on, she was growing hotter, more tense, her hearts were racing. “River.“ She groaned.

“It’s okay darling, you’re meant to feel like that.“ River assured her watching her lose more and more of her self-control.

“Are you sure about that?“ The Doctor whimpered. She felt like she was about to break. The intensity was overwhelming, it was like wildfire spreading through her threatening to swallow her up.

“Just give into it.“ River whispered softly kissing right under her ear. “Trust me, I’m right here.“ The Doctor nodded her understanding, yes she was right here, for now at least, for this moment, nobody could take that from them. She tensed up, begging for some form of release, she was tingling all over. River let go of her hair and brought her other hand down as well running small even circles over her clit. Just a little bit more… The Doctor threw her head back, a wave of adrenaline ran through her, nerve endings firing, she gave in to the overwhelming feeling releasing the tension. She shook underneath her wife, moaning, panting, mumbling profanities and her name over and over again. The Doctor’s head was spinning, it was as if she just couldn’t get enough air into her lungs to fill them and get oxygen to her brain. Yes, she had thoroughly enjoyed sex as a man which could be just as intense but this was so much more all encompassing, driving her delirious for a time. She struggled for some compose, her senses fully overwhelmed. She held on to River for dear life as the waves of muscle spasms slowly subsided.

“God, River…“ She breathed blinking, slowly regaining some control over her senses. That was…

“Not bad for a first spin, huh.“ River smirked as she sat up and brushed the Doctor’s messy hair out of her face.

“Way to pile on the pressure.“ She was slowly catching her breath. River rolled off her and pulled her into her arms.

“No pressure, my dear, never.“ The Doctor rested her head on River’s chest as she recovered, listening to the distinct double beat of her lover’s hearts.


	7. Let me kiss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prospect of River leaving again is becoming all too real and the Doctor is desperate to find a way to cheat time and have River stay with her... if only it was that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's carry on with angst, smut and some actually storyline. Still trying to keep close to the canon, hope this works ok! Please let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Chapter 7: Let me kiss you

The Doctor ran her fingertips along River’s sternum absentmindedly, it all made so much more sense now. River’s very existence, the pieces were fitting together at last, she finally understood how she could have become part Timelord just from being in the time stream. Because she wasn’t really “part“ Timelord at all, there was no such thing really. She had to revise her thinking. River was an actual Timelord, just based on human DNA while the Gallifreyan Timelords were based upon Shobogan DNA. They had used the Doctor’s DNA to modify themselves and become what the universe had assumed they had always been, while the same genetic modifications had happened to River naturally from exposure to the vortex. 

She just listened to the soothing double heartbeat as her thoughts wandered. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she was so drawn to her, she felt like home but she wasn’t one of them. She was better. She was human. She was unique. Just like the Doctor herself. One of a kind.

For a moment she considered telling River everything. Everything she had found out about her past, everything they had done to her, everything the Master had done… Gallifrey in ruins… Though she accepted it wasn’t her natural home, she couldn’t deny the many fond memories she had made during what she presumed to have been her childhood… it was all tainted now. She decided it was best not to. She didn’t want River to have to keep these secrets for 24 years from her past self. Darillium. Just as she had forgotten all about it, the painful reminder that their time was almost up.

“Are you still with me?“ River asked softly, she had been so quiet and still, one could have thought she had drifted off.

“I’m here…“ The Doctor replied looking up at her. 

“What are you thinking about?“ She asked quietly.

“Just thinking how beautiful you are.“ She answered.

“That’s not true.“

“Yes, you are.“ The Doctor retorted.

“It’s not true that that’s what you were thinking about.“ River clarified. 

“It’s not important.“ She gave a little wave, she didn’t want to waste time thinking about this now. “You, on the other hand, are.“

“Smooth talker.“ River chuckled. The Doctor pushed herself up a little having recovered a bit. She reached up and ran her fingers along her cheek. She really was beautiful. “I have to say Doctor, it is unnerving how calm you are.“

“You must have worn me out.“ She winked at her.

“Well, if I had known that’s all it took.“ River smiled sheepishly. 

“Shut up.“ The Doctor laughed and kissed her to stop her shooting back. River kissed her back tenderly. The Doctor pressed herself close against her, inhaling her scent, feeling her body heat. She wished they could stay here forever. She figured if the Solitract tried to create a perfect world for her again, this would be it, this moment. 

“I love you.“ She said breaking away from River for a moment. “I love you. I don’t know when or if I’ve told you that recently or even in your timeline but I love you.“ River just looked at her for a moment lost for words. She was right, the Doctor had never been one to be outspoken about their feelings so her words carried all the more weight. They rang in her ears and she struggled to respond. The Doctor couldn’t stand the silence so she just carried on talking. “Anyway, I just thought I’d tell you, cause, you know, I don’t think I’ve ever been so in touch with my feelings before. Just in case I hadn’t told you. Cause that’s how I feel. Always have. Every version of me. And every version of you, like even when you poisoned me and when you didn’t recognise me and…“

“Oh just shut up.“ River breathed and kissed her. “I love you too. Even though you are the most infuriating creature in all of space and time, I love you.“ 

“Well uhh, great.“ The Doctor grinned, her heart genuinely light for a moment. River loved her. That’s all she needed, all she would ever need. With new found energy she climbed on top of her and kissed her again, much more intensely.

“Second wind?“ River chuckled against her lips.

“I think you’ll find I have a whole lot more energy than you bargained for.“ The Doctor grinned, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. 

“I like your confidence.“ River laughed.

“Got a lot of reason to be confident, I know how to do this bit.“ The Doctor retorted and kissed her deeply, passionately. The atmosphere went from adoring to heated in a heartbeat. She ran her hands down Rivers sides and kissed her way down her body like she had done many times before. She remembered every detail, every sensitive spot, the way River liked her to touch her, it was all there, second nature. She pulled off her wife’s pants and settle between her legs. “Never had to deal with my hair getting in the way before.“ She mused as she brushed her hair over to one side before pressing her tongue into her. River gasped. Yes she certainly seemed to remember how to do that. River moaned, God it felt good. She reached down pushing her hand into the Doctor’s hair.

“Nice to have more to hold on to though.“ River smirked and the Doctor chuckled, the gentle hum of her voice vibrating against her core. The Doctor hooked her arms around River’s thighs and pulled her in close. Her wife moaned in response to her skilful tongue. The Doctor traced complicated patterns, little circles, broad strokes letting River’s responses guide her. Her soft moans, her breathing getting more laboured, her muscles tensing, the way she dug her nails into her scalp. “I forgot how good you are at this…“ River groaned as she was working her up, she could feel the orgasm building already. 

“Basic skills, everything else I’ll figure out as I go.“ The Doctor smirked and pushed two fingers inside her. River gasped. The Doctor tried her best to act confidently as her overactive brain was trying to work out the best way of doing this to maximum effect. So her movements were slow at first, testing, watching out for her wife’s reactions, turning this way and that. 

“That’s good.“ River nodded encouragingly sensing that her wife needed some reassurance and perhaps guidance. 

“Right okay.“ The Doctor breathed settling into a more steady rhythm and pushed her tongue into her again flicking over her clit again and again. River threw her head back, yes, that was just right, that… She tightened her grip in her wife’s hair moving her hips to meet her. The Doctor pushed harder, deeper sensing that she needed more. 

“Yes, that’s just… right…“ River breathed, finding it increasingly difficult to form words. 

The Doctor pulled away and River groaned in frustration, how dare she stop? She pulled herself up and climbed on top of her, before carrying on thrusting inside her with increasing urgency. She kissed River deeply who moaned into the kiss, tasting herself on her wife’s lips. Her muscles were starting to seize up, she was getting closer. She felt so good inside her, familiar yet completely different. The Doctor watched her closely, her breathing, her pulses so fast they were visible on her throat if you knew where to look. And the Doctor did. She realised she knew everything about River’s body, every little detail, she had travelled her body like she had travelled the universe. With a sense of excitement, exploration and wonder and she had come to know her so well, she was home. 

“I love you.“ The Doctor whispered cupping her cheek in her free hand. “I see the universe in you too.“ She pushed harder still and River moved against her, she tried to grab onto the Doctor for support, scratching her back in the process. The Doctor winced but didn’t let up, she wanted to see the look in River’s eyes as she finally lost control. 

“Doctor, I can’t…“ The sensations were almost too much to take. The Doctor curled her fingers up and River gasped. The air around them was charged, vibrant, almost alive with energy.

“Nearly there, darling.“ The Doctor smirked feeling an odd sense of pride and relief that she could muddle through without the equipment she had been used to. She brushed her thumb over her clit effectively breaking through her last bit of resistance. River cried out and her body seized up before releasing the pent up pressure and coming undone. She let go, getting lost in a sea of sensations, the only thing she could focus on was the Doctor, impossibly close to her, looking at her with those big beautiful eyes, kissing her and holding her through it. River mumbled her name, her real name, barely audible and it nearly moved the Doctor to tears again. She buried her face in the crook of her neck as she lay on top of her and intertwined their hands, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“You are my universe.“ The Doctor whispered as River’s breathing was slowing. 

“Don’t let the universe hear that, it will get jealous and find more reasons why you need to go save it…“ River chuckled softly, exhaustion noticeable in her voice. 

“Stay with me…“ The Doctor whispered. “Please.“

“Doctor.“ River closed her eyes, she had dreaded this question.

“I don’t want to let you go again.“ There was a long silence as they both fought with their emotions. River let go of one of her hands and ran her fingers through her wife’s hair. She kissed the top of her head. 

“But you have to. You said yourself, I’m in your past timeline… I have yet to meet your past self again so I have to leave.“ River said quietly trying her best to sound collected and reasonable. It was rare that she had to be the voice of reason but she could tell the Doctor was struggling so she had to be strong for her. 

“Time can change…“ The Doctor protested weakly nuzzling her nose into her neck. 

“No Doctor, not our timeline, too many ripples.“ She was right of course. Their timelines were incredibly complicated the way they were. They would be creating a paradox if she stayed and never went to Darillium as the Doctor had already experienced. Time would most likely break, yet again. But did the Doctor really care at this point?

“It can be rewritten, time fixes itself, it finds a way…“

“Doctor, stop.“ River tried her best to sound decisive and firm but her voice wavered just a little. She rolled her wife off of her gently so she could look at her properly, she placed her hand against her cheek and made her face her. The Doctor did so reluctantly, she already knew she didn’t want to hear what River was going to say. The hurt was visible in her eyes. “You know what it’s like for us, we just have to make the most of every encounter, every bit of time we have, please my love, don’t make this any harder than it already is.“

“It’s just not good enough anymore River. For you, you still have so much of our time ahead of you but for me… It’s just not enough anymore.“ The Doctor shook her head getting more and more upset. “Can you imagine what that’s like? Having already lived everything? Knowing how things end? Not knowing if there is any more time left for us?“ She pulled away from her and sat up, distraught and angry. She had probably said too much but surely River had figured out by now that she had been to the end of their timeline, she had led with that when she had picked her up. How could River not understand that that knowledge was eating her alive?

“I know exactly what that’s like my love.“ River sat up as well grabbing on to her hand, as if she was worried she would storm off. “Every day I dread the day of our first meeting. You meeting me for the first time, for me that hasn’t happened yet.“ River tried to compose herself. She knew that terrible day was yet to come for her. She had admitted it to Rory long ago. She knew how much it would hurt. Looking into the Doctor’s eyes and them not having the faintest idea who she was. She only prayed it wouldn’t be these eyes… It would probably actually kill her. She used to assume her last meeting with the Doctor would also be their first meeting with her. Complete opposites of each other’s timelines, that’s what it had been for a long time, but now it wasn’t as easy as that anymore, was it? But what if that still held true? She couldn’t bare to think about it. She knew for the Doctor it had already happened, did she dare ask about it? “What was that like for you? When we met for the first time? I always assumed that would be the end of us… opposite time streams… but it’s not as simple as that anymore, so maybe…“ Her voice trailed off. She could only hope. When things had gotten more complicated after Demon’s Run she had become hopeful, maybe the Doctor’s first meeting with her wouldn’t also be her last… but who knew. Apparently not even the Doctor did at this point.

“I don’t want that day to happen for you.“ The Doctor replied truthfully and River actually laughed a little. They both knew that was utter rubbish, they had to meet to even become what they were but neither of them couldn’t bare everything that went along with it. It was a fixed point. Their beginning, Rivers end. 

“If we don’t meet, then this would never happen, you know that.“ River gave her a sad smile. “And I’m not having that.“ Before the Doctor could protest, she pulled her into her arms and held her close. “I’m sorry my love. But I have faith, I refuse to believe that is it for you, for us… you’re a time traveller, you're the Doctor for God’s sake, make time.“ She soothed her. The Doctor held onto her tightly, clinging to her just as much as to her words. “I have faith in you.“ River spoke softly and the Doctor took a deep breath calming down a little as they lay back down again. The Doctor rested her head on River’s chest like she had before. She was right, she was the Doctor, armies turned at the mention of her name. She had time on her side, she was immortal after all, so she would find a way, somehow. So long as River believed in her, she had to believe in herself to do it. And maybe, just maybe, she would find a way, even if it took eternity to find it, she would cheat death and bring River back. Slowly, only to the rhythm of their four combined heartbeats, they both drifted off to sleep. 

——

The Doctor woke up drenched in sweat, her hearts pounding. She sat up and looked around disoriented. River was there, fast sleep next to her and she immediately felt better, she had half expected for her to have gone to save them both the painful goodbye. The Doctor looked down at her sleeping form, so peaceful, half smiling in her sleep, so warm and alive and real. She had had the same recurring nightmare again, or memory rather, of River in the library. The memory had become more painful after every encounter, by the time they had been on Darillium, only waking up next to her had given her - well him then - enough comfort to go back to sleep the next time. Darillium… yes, it was almost time for River to go… and after Darillium, it was just the library. For hours, even during her sleep, the Doctor’s brain had worked tirelessly on the problem. She - he - had managed to save River’s mind to the data base but her body… could she just be transferred into any old body perhaps? As fond as the Doctor was of River’s appearance, she herself had changed so many times, surely she could put up with River looking differently too. This was River’s third regeneration, if she had kept her regeneration energy instead of saving the Doctor’s life that one time… Regeneration energy! 

“No…“ She said to herself in disbelief. “Yes! No, no, I can’t… but why not? That’s what she did! And I have so much to spare, who knows how much. Yes. YES! I’m dumb, why haven’t I figured this out before? Well suppose I didn’t know about the timeless child thing before and the unlimited regenerations and… So really I’m clever, yes! Very clever, it could work, it should work!“ Her excitement grew and grew. Yes, maybe this could work, maybe it would change everything. Not the timeline though, right? “Shouldn’t do, might do… doesn’t have to, she’d be clever and be on her way, just another adventure for her. I should tell her, or not, cause spoilers, I can’t mess it up…“

“What the hell are you babbling about…“ River slowly came round to the constant jabbering. 

“River! I’ve figured it out!“ The Doctor grinned at her excitedly, such a stark contrast from how subdued she had been when they had gone to sleep.

“What?“ River asked in confusion. 

“How to fix it all.“ The Doctor’s heart were pounding, her mind going a hundred miles per hour. 

“Fix what?“ Her wife wasn’t following her one bit.

“Can’t tell you, shouldn’t tell you, just let me kiss you.“ The Doctor leaned over her taking her face in her hands. 

“Not exactly like you need my permission for that…“ River chuckled a little. 

“Just don’t freak out… I promise it’ll all make sense one day if it works!“ She warned her. There was a tingle in the air, almost like electricity, making River’s hairs stand up. That golden glow was returning to the Doctor’s eyes, just a whole lot more intense now. It was oozing out off her, golden, bright, regenerative energy, River realised.

“Doctor.“ She breathed in disbelief. “What are you…“

“Trust me.“ The Doctor whispered quietly and River nodded slowly.

“Always.“

The Doctor bent down and kissed her, the same way River had done when she - he - was about to die from the poison she had given him. This was just like the time she - he - had fixed her wrist, only on a much bigger scale. The shimmering energy pouring out off her, tingling, hot, powerful and eternal and flowed into her wife as they kissed. More and more and more, they were engulfed in it. 

“What are you doing?“ River asked in alarm as she carried on and on, she understood what was happening but why? She did trust her but still. “You can’t give up all your energy, why would you…“ Surely she didn’t have many regenerations left? It had taken all of River’s to keep him - her - alive, so what was this doing to her now?

“It’s okay, just trust me and keep kissing me.“The Doctor grinned with excitement and kissed her again. She was slowly beginning to feel the drain, she was getting exhausted. So much energy, channeling it all. But she carried on, kept pushing until her breathing became laboured and her hearts threatened to give out. She collapsed onto River.

“God, sweetie, what have you done…“ River breathed. She felt like she was electric, bursting with energy, it was like she could see eternity, the beginning and the end of the universe, feel the vibration of the smallest molecules all around them and everything around her was so alive. 

“Saving my wife, I hope…“ The Doctor managed to whispered as she tried to recover. The energy was still there inside her, slowly replenishing what she had given but it was taking time. She felt so weak. “Surely I should know it it worked shouldn’t I…“ She murmured to herself searching her mind, her memories should have rewritten, no more dead River, she should remember her regenerating now… maybe her memories just hadn’t rewritten yet… should that happen instantly? Should she not even know River died anymore? Shouldn’t there be only one version now there she saw her regenerate? Or should she have both memories? Thinking about it was making her head spin. But there were no new memories. She saw her sitting in the chair, dead. She remembered running back for her screwdriver and saving her mind to the data core. Nothing had changed. Nothing…


	8. Stop running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With their time nearly up, things come to an emotional head between River and the Doctor who is desperately trying to find a way to undo her wife's fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments, I'm having the best time writing this and so happy you're all enjoying it. In other news, my lovely wife has agreed to proofread for me so hopefully less spelling errors yay!   
> Hope you all like the new chapter, please let me know your thoughts! :)

Chapter 8: Stop running

“Darling?“ River took her hand trying to make sense of what was going on.

“No, please, it must have worked, maybe it just takes a while for it to take effect…“ She tried to hold the waves of anxiety at bay but she had no strength to fight them. “Please, please, it must have worked. What’s the point of all this if it doesn’t…“ The Doctor squeezed her eyes shut, searching her mind for a clue, anything, that things had changed, that something did happen, that she wouldn’t be just dead and gone. “No, no, no.“ She sobbed. “Please.“ She managed to sit up shakily, her brain pushing it’s limits, trying to find an explanation for what went wrong or what she could do. Maybe it wasn’t enough? Maybe she needed to give her more. “Don’t think you will regenerate cause you won’t.“ River had told him - her - back then. Maybe she had somehow known that regenerations wouldn't work? Had she given it away now for River to know it moments before her death? Was this what had always happened? Had her death always been the result despite these actions?

“What’s wrong my love?“ River was looking genuinely frightened.

“I thought I had done it this time, I thought it would work, why didn’t it work.“ The Doctor buried her face in her hands. “I’ve seen your death River and I just can’t find a way to prevent it. I can’t do this River, I can’t face the rest of time by myself. When will it end? Does it ever end? Lifetime after lifetime, alone.“ River’s heart was breaking, not because of the knowledge that she would die eventually, everybody died, but because of the effect it had on the Doctor, her Doctor, her wife.

“It’s not like you to have an existential crisis.“ She said tenderly, not sure how to approach the situation. The Doctor was shaking with sobs, sadness, frustration, maybe even anger and rage.

“You don’t understand.“ She snapped. “One day, there will be no more gaps in your timeline for me to visit you. One day all of you, Yaz, Ryan, Graham, you will all be gone and I will still be here. It’s you River. It was always meant to be you. Part timelord, the child of the Tardis, able to regenerate just like me until you…“ She couldn’t even think about the fact that she had lost that ability to save her, the guilt was too much to bare. “You and me, time and space… This was meant to work. I was going to figure it out. For years I’ve been trying to figure it out and I thought I had finally done it. I thought finally I was clever enough. Finally I had the right tools, the right power, the right everything. What good is all this power if you can’t save the people you love.“

“Doctor, I am human, one day, I will die.“ River said calmly trying to reason with her.

“You don’t understand River, what’s the point of all this power, all this life if I can’t share it with anyone, if I end up alone.“ The Doctor sobbed looking at her hands, that faint golden glow beginning to radiate off her again despite the incredible drain. She reached out and touched River’s cheek, it was like there was an electric shock as River was still radiating with energy herself. 

“What’s going to happen to me?“ River asked trying to make sense of the situation. 

“Spoilers…“ The Doctor averted your eyes. “You know too much already… I’m just trying to give you back the regenerations you gave me. I have a lot more than I previously thought…“ She took a deep breath trying to calm herself, to think more clearly. 

“You can’t change a fixed point in time.“ River spoke softly, the penny finally dropping. Her death… whenever it would be… the Doctor was trying to undo it. Make her regenerate…

“Why not? We managed it every other time!“ The Doctor shot back defiantly. Lake Silencio, that had been a fixed point as well and they had tried to find a way around it. 

“Doctor, stop it!“ River interrupted her. “You can’t save everyone…“ She reached out for her hand. “It’s okay, really.“

“It’s not okay for me… maybe I can come back to Luna with you…“ She was trying desperately to find a way out but she couldn’t, she had been so sure that she had managed it but she had been wrong.

“Doctor please just stop talking.“ River breathed shaking her head. This was getting too much. How was she supposed to leave her after this? The guilt was already eating at her but she knew that she had to. Why was the Doctor doing this to her? Making her fall for her again, head over heels, harder than ever before, confessing her undying love, becoming emotional and irrational rather than protecting the integrity of the universe and timeline like she was meant to. No, that responsibility fell on River now and it was killing her. “Why would you do this? Why would you make me think I’m so important?“

“Because you are.“ 

“No, I’m not.“ She snapped. “I can’t be and you know that. And yet you act like thats all you’re concerned with. Making me feel oh so special. I love you, I really do and, I am thrilled that you feel the same way but that can’t be all you’re concerned with, not you. You’re not a lovesick teenager, you’re you. You’re the Doctor. You have to be above that.“

“I can’t do this without you River.“

“You have done before and you will do again. Because the universe needs you.“

“I need you.“ 

“No, you don’t. Of course I want you to need me and I want you to love me as much as you say you do, but you can’t.“ She shook her head.

“River, I love you more than you can possibly understand!“ The Doctor shot back angrily.

“It’s you that doesn’t understand. You are so so much more than any of us. You’re just beyond everything any of us know. And to have you love me in that way, it’s just too much, it’s not right. Because the universe needs you… because I’m… I’m just me. And that’s fine, I’m perfectly fine just being me. I don’t need to be your immortal lover travelling the stars with you to know what’s in my heart. To have loved you the way I do will have to be enough.“

The Doctor was lost for words, she just stared at her. She was beginning to realise she had lost this fight, River had a strength of convictions that she didn’t seem to have anymore. When did that happen? When did River become the voice of reason and the Doctor become so reckless with the fate of the universe? She felt ashamed that she had been so focused on nothing but herself, her own happiness and not even stopped to think about the repercussions. River thought the world of her still, her words full of admiration and awe and it stung to know she wasn’t living up to it. The Doctor didn’t know what to do or where to look, she just stared at the floor unable to form a clear thought. 

“Doctor please don’t do this to me. Don’t break my heart any more than it’s already breaking every time we say goodbye. Don’t make me feel like I’m more than what I am and make it even harder.“ River didn’t wait for a response, she got up from the bed and started looking for her clothes. 

“What are you doing?“ The Doctor asked looking up. 

“I should go, I think this has gotten out of control.“

“River.“ She walked up to her and grabbed her hand but River pulled away. 

“Don’t Doctor, you talk a great talk, really made me believe everything you said but in the end, you were just getting carried away. Like you always do. I’m not special enough for you to risk the universe for and you will realise that when you come to your senses. I’d rather that happened when I wasn’t there to witness it.“

“How is that what you’ve taken away from all this? That I was getting carried away with you?“ The Doctor shot back accusingly. 

“This is what you do Doctor.“ River breathed. “You don’t even know you’re doing it, do you. You don’t know the way you effect me, the way you effect anyone that travels with you, anyone that comes to love you. You have no idea. Not the faintest idea.“ She zipped up her dress and pulled on her boots. It hurt so much saying these words, she needed to get out off here. She knew she had to say them, for the universe’s sake, for the Doctor’s sake. She couldn’t let grief destroy her, holding on to someone she couldn’t have, obsessing over something she couldn’t fix. No, it was better to cut and run. Even if it hurt, even if it was the hardest thing she had ever done. She needed to set the Doctor free, allow her to let her go, this idealised version of her that she could never live up to anyway. From what she had seen just now, the only way for the Doctor to be happy again, to survive even, she would have to force her to let her go.

“Can I come see you again.“ The Doctor didn’t know what else to say.

“Stop interfering with our timelines, stop trying to fix things, if it’s meant to happen it will happen, in the meantime I’ll see you when you stop cancelling on Darillium.“ River left the room and headed for the Tardis flight deck to set a course for home, she made sure that she was out of earshot before she started sobbing, before she allowed her tears to fall and her heart to break. The Doctor didn’t go after her, she couldn’t. She collapsed onto the floor, drained physically and emotionally in the knowledge that she had made a huge mistake that she would never be able to fix. At least River would have Darillium still, she wouldn’t always feel like this about the Doctor, she thought as she drifted out of consciousness for a time as her body began to restore her energy reserves. 

——

“Wake up raggedy man.“ The voice sounded extremely familiar, the Doctor groaned, she was aching everywhere and exhausted, oh so exhausted. She squinted, light blinding her, there were two shapes leaning over her.

“Shouldn’t it be woman now? Raggedy woman?“ Another voice asked, a male voice, she realised, while the first one had been female. 

“Shut up Rory, I think she’s waking up.“ The first voice spoke again and the penny dropped.

“Rory the Roman.“ The Doctor whispered a grin slowly forming on her face. “And Amelia Pond, the girl who waited… my Ponds…“ She was slowly getting used to the bright light. There they were, Amy Pond and Rory Williams, leaning over her, big smiles on their faces. “What are you doing here?“ The Doctor asked confused as to what was going on. She looked around and realised the space was empty, white as far as the eye could see. Slowly she sat up, the two of them helping her. “Where are we? How are you here?“ 

“Trying to talk some sense into you.“ Amy answered placing her hand on her shoulder. 

“Ah yes. Right. Fainted didn’t I. I’m dreaming. Great.“ The Doctor began to remember. “You’re in my head, I’m basically talking to myself.“

“Seems like you need some help getting your head straight.“ Amy observed. 

“So my mind thought it would send me the in-laws, that’s great…“ She chuckled. Her subconscious had a sense of humour. She couldn’t deny how nice it was to see her two dear friends again, even if they were just figments of her imagination. 

“Not just us.“ Rory smiled as he helped her to her feet. 

“Hello there.“ The Doctor looked around and found herself face to face with one of her previous regenerations who she liked to refer to as Bowtie. He had appeared right behind her out of thin air. “Being a woman does suit me, this is great. Love that you brought the suspenders back.“ 

“Suspenders are cool.“ She shrugged looking down herself. “Glad I’m at least dressed in my mind…“ She realised that in reality, she was still stark naked on her bedroom floor.

“Thankfully.“ Another male voice sounded and she looked to the left to see her most recent regeneration, Eyebrows. 

“Oi.“ She shot him a glare.

“I think you’re quite fit like that.“ Clara appeared by his side. 

“Of course you would.“ He rolled his eyes at the impossible girl.

“So what have you been doing with our wife?“ Bowtie asked crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What haven’t you been doing with our wife.“ Eyebrows commented.

“No talking about that, no no no.“ Amy waved her hands.

“It’s not my fault that in 24 years you had together you didn’t do the dirty as much as you should have.“ She shrugged.

“Rude.“ He huffed.

“Stop winding her up. She’s upset, let the girl breath.“ Clara slapped his arm playfully. 

“Of course I’m upset.“ The Doctor crossed her arms defensively in front of her chest. “You got the adventures, the flirting, falling in love, getting married…“ She gestured towards Bowtie first, then back to Eyebrows. “You had the years, settled and calm and what do I get? I remember it all but I want something that’s mine… something for myself. I don’t want to be the Doctor that broke her heart…“ 

“She’s still there, isn’t she.“ Everyone looked around at Donna who stood to their other side with her Doctor. “Don’t you all look at me like that, she is. She’s still in the library, her consciousness anyway. You could just go and see her. Why haven’t you?“ She looked around at all the different versions of the Doctor. “Any of you.“

The Doctor looked at her previous selves that had acted exactly the way she had, never going back.

“Cause I was scared, I guess…“ She answered slowly.

“Ashamed, I think…“ The Doctor next to Donna answered, she thought she’d refer to him as Pretty Boy, as River had nicknamed him. “She… it’s not a real life is it. I never even knew if she wanted to be in there, if she would have chosen that… I didn’t know her then… I’m sorry.“ He looked a bit lost realising just how much less he knew about River than anyone else here. 

“And how would I tell her that I couldn’t get her out? That she was stuck there forever? Also, I don’t even know if she wanted me to… I spoke to her ghost once… like a goodbye…“ Bowtie scratched her back of his head thoughtfully. 

“She wanted us to say it like you would be back…“ The Doctor mused. 

“I didn’t want to go back unless I had a way of getting her out, I couldn’t face it.“ Eyebrows admitted. 

“I’ve tried everything.“ The Doctor took a deep breath feeling on the verge of tears again.

“No you haven’t.“ Clara interrupted. “You’ve tried one thing. A brilliant thing but only one nonetheless.“

“I’ve considered others…“ She retorted. Her mind had been working tirelessly. 

“You’re still so young Doctor.“ Clara smiled at her kindly. 

“I’m really not, there is no way of knowing how old I am, how many lifetimes I’ve lived already…“ The Doctor shook her head. 

“Yes but how do those lifetimes compare to eternity? If you really have unlimited regenerations you have time…“ Clara stepped forward and reached for her hand. The Doctor took her hand and squeezed it, taking comfort from it. She missed Clara, her impossible girl, saving her again and again and again through all of time and space.

“So long as you don’t get yourself killed in the meantime.“ Amy chuckled next to her. 

“So you try and try again.“ Clara carried on. “Until you’ve found a way.“ She smiled at her encouragingly.

“And visit her.“ Donna piped up again. “I mean, I don’t know her the way you lot do but… I think she’s probably missing you.“ 

“I really don’t think she’ll want to see me… not this version of me.“ The Doctor took a deep breath. Not after all this. 

“She’s probably come round after 24 years.“ Eyebrows gave her a half smile. 

“I think by the time she got to the library she was well over your fight.“ Pretty Boy said. “That message that I got early was probably meant for you.“

“More likely for Eyebrows over here.“ The Doctor nodded towards him. 

“Why am I the one that’s being picked on?“ He took offence at the nickname. 

“Jealously. You had her the longest.“ The Doctor answered off hand, just being honest, they were in her head after all. 

“Fair point.“ He shrugged. 

“I’m not sure I can face her…“ She admitted softly. 

“Get yourself together Doctor, stop being a coward.“ Amy interrupted decisively and everyone looked at her. She wasn’t having any of it. “What, it’s true. When we travelled with you, you weren’t scared of anything, not even your own death. Think it’s high time you faced up to your actions and went to see her.“

“It's not as easy as all that…“ The Doctor tried to argue but she wasn’t allowed to finish.

“But it is, Doctor. It is.“ Clara insisted pulling her hand close and placing a kiss on her fingers. “And even if all you do is say hi and tell her you’re thinking of her.“

“Tell her you haven’t forgotten her and one day you will find a way of getting her out of there.“ Amy added and took her other hand.

“She’s her parents’ daughter, she can wait.“ Rory offered encouragingly as he put his hand on his wife’s shoulder who turned to look at him with a smile. They had so much love for each other. How could the Doctor disappoint them. She had not looked after their daughter as well as she should have. Tears sprung to her eyes. She had to accept that it would take time, maybe an incredible amount of it, until she had found a solution, she couldn’t hold out for that before going to see her. It wasn’t fair on her. But what could she possibly say to her?

“Just talk to her. Let her know you’re still out there.“ Donna suggested. 

“Explain to her what happened, tell her what the timelords did to us.“ Eyebrows continued and Bowtie added: 

“The context will help her understand.“ 

“For all you know, maybe she has an idea for how to get her out?“ Clara offered.

“Just go see her Doctor. You’ve been running for too long.“ Amy said and it hit home. Running was what the Doctor was best at. But you can’t run forever. 

“I wish it had been one of you there with her…“ Pretty Boy spoke up. “It wasn’t fair that it was me. Go back right after it happened, give her that comfort.“ He carried on and there were nods all round. 

“I’m not sure if I’m strong enough…“ The Doctor said quietly. She looked around the room, at her previous faces and her wonderful brave companions, she didn’t want to let them down.

“You’re the Doctor, of course you’re strong enough.“ Amy insisted. 

“Now stop moaning and get to it.“ Eyebrows rolled his eyes at her. 

“Wake up Doctor.“ Yaz spoke softly placing her hand on the Doctor’s shoulder. She looked around.

“Yaz, what are you doing here?“ 

“Wake up Doctor.“ Amy smiled as her and Clara let go of her hands and she woke up with a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loved writing the scene with the past selves and companions, didn't plan for it when I first came up with the storyline but really glad I put it in now. Hope I got their voices sort of right, even if it's just a short bit. :)


	9. Welcome to the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the penultimate chapter the Doctor finally returns to the library to face up to what had happened there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your lovely comments, really happy the scene inside the Doctor's mind came across well <3  
> Heading into the final stretch now, hoping I can bring it to an appropriate end... More excitement ahead, have fun!

Chapter 9: Welcome to the Library

The Doctor awoke with a start and a splitting headache. She looked up to see Yaz, Ryan and Graham gathered around her. From one group of awesome companions to the next, she realised with a barely noticeable smile. 

“Hey fam…“ She managed weakly. She was still feeling incredibly weak but her mind had recovered significantly, she felt more secure in herself again. 

“What happened Doctor?“ Yaz asked sounding extremely concerned.

“Did something stupid…“ The Doctor whispered. 

“Did it require being naked?“ Ryan wondered and Graham elbowed him to be quiet. “Fair question though.“ He ignored his step-grandfather. The Doctor realised they had had the decency to cover her with a blanket

“Nah, the stupid came after the sex…“ She answered as she sat up slowly keeping the blanket around herself. 

“River has left then?“ Yaz confirmed and the Doctor nodded. “Is there something we can do, do you want to talk about it or…“ She didn’t really know what sort of help they could offer but she felt like they had to do something. 

“Not really…“ She replied truthfully. “But there is something I’ve got to do… I’ve got to do it alone though… There is somewhere I’ve got to go but you’ll have to stay in the Tardis, you have to promise me, it wouldn’t be safe…“ She thought of the Vashta Nerada, they would have taken over the library fully by now. Another reason why she hadn’t just popped back to the library before. 

“Can’t do that until you tell us what’s going on.“ Yaz insisted and the others nodded.

“It’s complicated, you don’t need to know…“ She tried to evade the question.

“Just tell us what’s going on so that if something goes wrong with whatever you’re doing, we at least know what we’re up against.“ Yaz carried on, not taking no for an answer. “I know this is personal and you don’t like talking about yourself but we’re your friends.“

“What happened? Everything was fine at dinner wasn’t it?“ Graham added.

“I don’t really know how to explain it…“ The Doctor realised she would have to explain things to them at least a bit if she wanted them to trust her. “I got upset because I know her future, I know how she will… well; I was trying to stop it from happening and apparently I can’t, so… I got upset and didn’t seem to understand how important that was to me. I think she still doesn’t understand how important she is to me. She told me to stop messing with our timelines before I do something to the universe again… that she’s not worth the risk…“ It felt good to say these things out loud, to someone other than herself in her mind. 

“Do you think you can talk her around?“ Ryan suggested.

“Not in this time period, I can’t go back to her past now… I need to see her where she is now.“ The Doctor replied.

“Doctor, from the way you’re talking it sounds like she is dead now…“ Graham said slowly.

“Not quite… her body is. Her mind, well, I managed to save that into a database… Saved in the greatest library in the universe… not quite the same as living but…“ Her voice trailed off. Many times she had wondered how River felt about being saved in the library. Surely it was better than death but it wasn’t a life either. It was a poor imitation. Was there even a way out if she wanted it? Or was it an eternal prison?

“When was this? In your past? You said she you met out of sync…“ Yaz was trying to make sense of the information. 

“When I first met her, our time streams were heading in opposite directions, she died when I first met her. My first meeting with her, her last one with me.“ She tried to put it as plainly as she could. 

“And she’s been stuck in that library this whole time while you’ve been having adventures with her younger selves?“ Graham tried to get it straight. 

“It’s not quite like that when time travel is involved. I’ll go to just after it happened so she will have spent no time at all there when I get there…“ The Doctor replied. 

“How long ago was this for you? In your time stream?“ Yaz wanted to know, she could sense the Doctor’s reluctance, particularly when she didn’t answer. “How long have you been avoiding this?“

“A bit over a thousand years I think, give or take a few hundred…“ She mumbled.

The three just starred at her.

“900 of which I spent defending Tranzelore alone, don’t look at me like that… Travelling a bit here and there, my big farewell tour before River killed me that time at Lake Silencio… 24 years with River on Darillium…“ 

“Your wife’s consciousness has been sitting in a library database for over a thousand years?!“ Graham exclaimed. 

“No she hasn’t, time travel remember? Just cause it’s been over a thousand years for me in my personal timestream, doesn’t mean the universe has aged a thousand years…“ She explained. 

“But you’ve avoided seeing her for a thousand years after you put her in there…“ Yaz observed with a sad smile. 

“Yes… though I didn’t know her initially, we had all of our story to go, I just started with the sad ending… I didn’t know who she was to me until much later…“ Her voice was laced with regret.

“I mean this whole time travel thing is confusing at the best of times, but this whole thing is a whole new ballpark…“ Graham said.

“Sorry… I’ve made it a whole more complicated that it should have been… but it’s time to go back to the present now, River’s present, and stop dwelling in the past…“ It hurt to think her chance encounters and mad adventures with River had come to a close but that didn’t mean their story had to be over. She had lifetimes ahead of her and River was safe in the library but for now, she had to face up to her demons and do right by her. The Doctor got to her feet. “I need some clothes…“ 

——

The travel to the Library was uneventful. The Doctor guided the Tardis calmly, she was fully dressed now but still looked and felt exhausted. She knew she wouldn’t be back to full strength for a while yet but she couldn’t wait to do this until she was. It was unusually quiet in the Tardis, the Doctor was deep in thought and her companions were watching her deeply concerned. Finally, the Tardis ground to a halt. 

“Stay in here please. There are some dangerous things out there… Don’t step out of the Tardis.“ She grabbed her sonic, several torches and various other light sources. “I have set a return course for 21st century earth should something go wrong, the Tardis will take you home.“ 

“What are all the lights for?“ Ryan asked.

“Don’t let the shadows get in.“ She insisted as she opened the Tardis door and glanced back at them.

“Good luck, Doc.“ Graham said, hoping she knew she could trust them.

“Stay in here!“ The Doctor warned one more time and then closed the Tardis door on the way out. The library was dead silent. “Dead silent… silent and deadly…“ She murmured to herself. She had arrived after the last human’s had departed and the Vashta Nerada were spreading through their forest as the Doctor had promised they could. “Yeah me again… just got a… new face… nothing to worry about, I’m just here for a quick chat, I’ll be on my way shortly…“ She said unsure if there were even any Vashta Nerada lurking in these shadows but she thought it best to just get that out there. “Right…“ She put on a headlamp, wrapped some battery powered fairy lights around herself, armed herself with a torch and her sonic screwdriver and started making her way into the shop area. “Hello you…“ She approached one of the white curtesy nodes. “Anyone home?“ She looked around to check on the shadows, they weren’t moving so far. The head portion of the interface statue turned revealing a humanoid face that she wasn’t familiar with. 

“Welcome to the library…“

“Yeah, don’t worry about the whole spiel, I know the library has been sealed and that they’re here and all that, I just need to know, is there a way to speak to the AI running this place that doesn’t involve me climbing all the way down into the data core again? See I need to talk to someone that’s been saved…“

“Saved files can be browsed at your leisure at the appropriate terminals…“ 

“I need to speak to CAL. Is there a way to contact the artificial plane from here?“

The statue seemed to not understand the question or be unable to answer as it remained silent.

“Right, data core it is then…“ She contemplated trying to land the Tardis down there but the tight space plus the massive amounts of energy… it would be particularly safe and she couldn’t risk destabilising the core. 

“See, told you, not as easy as all that.“ The way ahead was looking rather dim. She thought back to when she had communicated to River’s data ghost through Clara. Somehow Madame Vastra had created a sort of conference call between the four of them so there had to be a way of contacting her. “Really don’t fancy going down there… or dropping unconscious…“ She mused, there had to be something else here she could use. She was here now, CAL would have watched her arrive, surely. She was the Guardian of the library after all, even now that there were no more humans. “CAL!“ The Doctor called. “Give me a sign, I need to talk to my… I need to talk to Professor Song, I know she’s with you. It’s me, the Doctor. I know I look a bit different now but it’s definitely me. My blue box is just in the next room…“ She waited and listened watching the shadows. “I know you’re looking after her but I’m sure she would like to talk to me too… I hope anyway.“ She added more quietly at the end. She walked up to one of the access terminals. Last time they had been here, she - he - had been able to briefly reroute the interface and contact CAL through one of these. Last time the data core had been corrupted… surely this time it should be easier. She directed her sonic at the terminal but before she even did anything, the screen came to life displaying the little girl’s face.

“Doctor?“ She looked at her with a frown slightly confused. 

“Ah! CAL, yes! How are you?“ The Doctor grinned happy to be one step closer. 

“You look… different.“ The little girl observed. 

“Yes, it’s been a long time for me, time travel and all that… is everything okay? Is the core stable.“

“Yes this is a good place now. Everyone is safe.“ CAL smiled.

“Good, that’s really good, see, I was hoping to talk to River… Professor Song, is she with you?“ The Doctor thought it was best to get straight to the point before she could change her mind. 

“She is here.“ The AI confirmed with a nod. 

“Can you… how do I…“ Her hands were beginning to feel clammy, she was nervous, her hearts picking up speed. 

“I will get her for you.“ The girl disappeared off the screen, there was a whole artificial world on the other side of the screen. The Doctor took a deep breath, brushing her hair back and straightening her coat. 

“River.“ She exclaimed as the image of her wife came into view. 

“Doctor.“ River smiled, her voice was soft, her expression one of relief. 

“You uhm… you said to just stop messing with the past so… I’m here… after the last time we met…“ The Doctor felt awkward now, she didn’t really know what to do or say, she just stared at the screen wishing she could reach out and touch her. Hold her. Kiss her. 

“I’m sorry my love, I had no idea this is how it would end…“ River apologised gently. She understood so much more now of what her wife had tried to achieve. 

“I’m sorry it didn’t work… I thought you would regenerate…“ The Doctor replied feeling the sting of her failure yet again. 

“It’s okay, I told you, some things you just can’t change. Not even you.“ River pressed her hand against the surface of the screen on her side and the Doctor did the same on her side. She knew that this artificial world she was seeing was nothing but code, numbers and energy but it was still River, her consciousness, her brilliant mind… trapped for all eternity. 

“Are you okay? Is it okay that I… did this to you?“ The Doctor had to ask. 

“For me. You did it for me, not to me.“ River corrected her gently. 

“But was it the right decision?“ She pressed on. 

“It’s preferable to dying so yes, it was, don’t beat yourself up over it my love. You probably have for a long time knowing you… not being able to talk about it… How long has it been for you since this happened? You look so much older now than you did when I just saw you…“

“A long time… I’ve experienced a lot since then, found out a lot of things too… not how to save you, not yet, but that doesn’t mean… I’m going to get you out of there River, I promise, I will find a way. And if it takes a hundred years, a thousand years, I don’t care, I will find a way, I promise you.“ The Doctor clenched her fists in determination. She felt utterly helpless right now, just staring at an imagine of her wife rather than herself but she could make her this promise. 

“Doctor.“ 

“No River, don’t argue back, I will do this. And don’t give me any of that “I’m not important“ bullshit. You are my wife. I will find a way.“ She interrupted her. 

“I was just going to say that I have faith in you. I will wait.“ River smiled slightly amused at her quick fire response. 

“Oh…“ The Doctor relaxed a little. “Well… You’re not still angry with me then?“

“How can I be angry? It’s been 25 years darling, not for you but for me. Darillium was… wonderful, one of the happiest times of my life but you’re right, it wasn’t enough.“ She gave her a sad smile. “So I’ll wait… Don’t get yourself killed and regenerated again before then though, I definitely want a repeat of our time together.“ She winked at her.

“Yeah sorry about good old eyebrows, he's not the most touchy feely of fellas.“ The Doctor chuckled. 

Suddenly there was a crash and voices, calls. Something or someone was barging through the library.

“Hello, anyone there?“ They called. 

“What the…“ The Doctor turned away from the screen. CAL reappeared next to River.

“Others are returning. They must be careful, it’s not safe.“ She said.

“Yes the Vashta Nerada might be ok with my brief visit but not if there are anymore joining.“ She pulled out her sonic and scanned the door up ahead where she heard the voices coming from. 

“Several human life signs… I will be back!“ She looked back at River her heart aching. They never had enough time, enough of anything. 

“We will turn on all the screens.“ The other terminals switched on all around the library showing the same image of CAL and River. “They’ve come from the landing pad, making their way to the shop.“ CAL informed her. 

“Doctor, are you still here, we need your help!“ The Doctor recognised the voice of Lux, who’s grandfather had built the library and who was responsible for it. The Doctor and Donna had waited for him to transport all the people off the planet and departing themselves in a shuttle. They had waited for everyone to be safe before departing and leaving the place to the Vashta Nerada. It seemed as though the shuttle had had reason to turn back. The door opened and it was indeed Lux, followed by two library staff that had been rescued. “Oh hello… sorry, we’re looking for… how did you get in here?“ He looked at her confused.

“Mr Lux, why are you back? I thought we agreed that tis planet would be locked off now? It’s too dangerous.“ The Doctor walked to meet them, ready to usher them back to their shuttle. 

“Who are you? How to you know who I am?“ He looked at her confused. 

“Oh right, yeah, confusing.“ It was just going to be one of those days wasn’t it. Always happened when she went somewhere where people had known her. “It’s me, the Doctor, never mind the new look, 1000 years will do that to you. Why are you here? The Vashta Nerada won’t be happy…“ She watched the shadows expecting them to start moving any minute now. “Talk quickly, they will be here any moment now.“ Lux just stared at her for a long moment but eventually seemed to have decided to just go with it for now. How else would she possibly know what she did?

“It’s Professor Song, her… body.“ He answered, clearly not sure how to best express himself.

“Yes…?“ He had offered to take her body back to Luna and have her buried and at the time the Doctor hadn’t been able to come up with a better solution. They couldn’t have left her here for the Vashta Nerada and the Doctor hadn’t known her well enough to take and bury her herself as she probably would have done now.

“She’s… well…“

“What?“ The Doctor pressed on. So many thoughts were running through her mind. She should have never let them take her body but she hadn’t known anything about her at the time. It had seemed like the most logical option which she thought she might end up regretting now. A timelord’s body was a rare commodity, a miracle of sorts, there were forces out there that would rip worlds apart for just one cell… if she had known she was a timelord then she would have kept her body safe or burned her like it was the way on Gallifrey. Given her a proper farewell instead of just sending her off with a group of people that barely knew her or who she was. She couldn’t bears to look around at a screen to see River’s reaction. 

“She’s come back to life. Her body anyway. She’s unconscious but definitely breathing and she has a pulse, well two of them actually!“ He exclaimed. He knew it made no sense and sounded absolutely stupid, particularly the bit about the two heartbeats but it was the truth. 

“She was definitely dead.“ One of his workers added. 

“We got some really weird readings off of her, like her body was fixing itself from the inside. Like it’s regenerated or something.“ The other explained. 

“What is going on here Doctor?“ Lux demanded to know.

The Doctor looked over to the screen locking eyes with River who was staring back at her in utter disbelief. 

“Don’t go anywhere!“ The Doctor jabbed her finger at her and River flapped with her arms.

“Where am I gonna go, I’m a computer file.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! Please let me know your thoughts! <3


	10. No Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more step. Can the Doctor get past the Vashta Nerada to retrieve River's consciousness and return her to her body?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments! This is it, this is the final chapter. I hope you have all enjoyed this story, I had the best time writing it and I'm chuffed that I actually managed to complete a longer project that's not just a smutty oneshot lol! Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 10: No Time

“How is this possible?“ Lux asked watching the Doctor closely as she stepped up to the bed her wife’s body was laying on. River looked like she was sleeping. The Doctor pulled out her sonic and scanned her. Yes, definitely alive. Two hearts beating steadily, deep even breaths… her body was healing itself. There was still the faint glow of the regenerative energy working its magic. “Maybe it wasn’t enough to regenerate her at the time of her death but it’s fixing her body.“ She realised and knelt down next to her. Her mind, however, would still be in the library database. At the moment her body would be just a shell, alive and warm but empty. 

“It worked…“ The Doctor breathed close to tears. “It really worked.“ She cupped her wife’s cheek tenderly.

“What worked?“ Lux looked at her in confusion. “How is it possible that she’s come back to life? She was burned to a crisp, no offence.“ 

“Well, you know, I knew my wife was dying - she's my wife by the way, old me didn’t know that yet and he didn’t know she was going to get herself killed to save all these people - so I decided to try and save her. So about 25 years ago I gave her some of my regeneration energy hoping it would help her survive today. And look at that! God I’m clever.“

“Did any of you understand what she just said?“ Everyone was shaking their heads. 

“Never mind. Leaves the small issue of reuniting body and mind but no biggie.“ She grinned. She had no idea how to do it but she’d gotten this far, surely that wouldn’t be too big of a challenge. 

“Sir?“ One of the shuttle crew said.

“Not now.“ Lux waved his hand dismissively.

“Mr Lux, something is moving out here.“ He carried on more insistently. 

“What do you mean something is moving?“ His head snapped around and the Doctor looked up as well.

“The shadows Sir, she said to look out for the shadows, well, looks like they’re moving.“ He reported uneasily.

“They’re here, we need to get moving. I need to get her body to my Tardis, then you need to get the hell out of here.“ The Doctor stood quickly, there was no time to be sentimental now, they needed to get moving, it wasn’t safe here. 

“You don’t have to convince me.“ He retorted. “But how do you suggest we get her to your ship? You can’t seriously be thinking about going out there?“ They looked out of the shuttle ramp and the lights outside were starting to go out one by one. 

“No, got to try something else…“ She pulled out her phone and rang Yaz who picked up within second. 

“Where are you Doctor, is everything alright? All the lights outside have gone out…“

“Yes the Vashta Nerada are here, do not, under any circumstances, go outside. I need you to do something.“ She said quickly, there was no time to explain too much. 

“Anything you need Doctor, we’re here, you’re on speaker.“ She replied. 

“I’ve got River, her body anyway, she’s alive. I’m going to have the Tardis bring her in, I need you to look after her while I get her consciousness.“ She explained.

“I cant believe that those words actually make perfect sense in this situation.“ Graham said.

“Of course Doctor, that’s great news.“ Yaz answered with the response they should have led with.

“Plug your phone into the console Yaz, I’ll do everything else.“ The Doctor instructed as she knelt down next to River again.

“Done.“ Yaz responded.

“Right Old Girl, be good for me now, no hiccups, I know we don’t do this often.“ She crouched down next to River and held her phone close to her before sonic-ing it and with a flash of golden energy River disappeared. “Have you got her?“ She asked immediately.

“She’s here.“

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Great, look after her, I’ll be back as soon as I can.“ She said and hung up without waiting for a response. There was no time. 

“Right, now, data core, mind.“ She started walking down the shuttle ramp and placed her hands on her hips surveying the situation, slowly all around them the lights were going out. With her sonic she scanned the shadows ahead as the Vashta Nerada were coming for her. “Once I’m off the ship, you leave and never come back here, do you understand?“

“We can’t just leave you here, let us take you off world, you can’t go back in there.“ Lux walked down the ramp after her intend on bringing her back in. 

“Doctor, what are you doing?“ River and CAL were watching from a terminal screen, River leaned in close, pressing her hand against the screen on her end. What was the Doctor doing? Was she suicidal walking up to the deadly shadows like that?

“No, there is something very precious I need to get, I can’t leave without it. And Ive got to get a move on.“ She looked around and gestured for Lux to get back in. “I appreciate the offer but you won’t change my mind. Now go! Don’t worry about me, I will get back to my ship but you’ve got to go before the electricity drains.“ He looked conflicted.

“Doctor…“

“Don’t argue, you’re not being brave, you’re being stupid. Go.“ She took a few steps away from the shuttle ramp for emphasis. “Thanks for bringing her back.“ She said and before Lux could say or do anything, she directed her screwdriver at the shuttle ramp and it started to close. She turned back to the shadows that were gradually creeping closer. She was so close to getting River back, these creatures would not stand in her way, she was determined. She looked over to River and CAL who watched with concerned expressions, she gave them a small smile, assuring them she knew what she was doing, then she gave the shadows her undivided attention. 

“Out off my way, I got to go see my wife!“ She turned on the torches she had brought, stopping the shadows from advancing if only for a moment. “I mean you no harm, all I want is to go into the data core and get what’s mine. Then I will be on my way.“ The lights began to flicker. 

“This is our forest, everything here belongs to us.“ A ghostly voice replied.

“Ah neat, you can speak without a human megaphone, well done.“ Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. “I really don’t think you want to start this argument, let me through.“ The torch in her hand turned off and the lights on the shuttle began to flicker. She looked around again, the power was clearly draining from the shuttles engines. “Come on…“ She mumbled and as if on cue the engines engaged and the shuttle started taking off. She was relieved, at least they would be safe. The Vashta Nerada seized the opportunity and advanced. They swarmed around her, surrounding her, trapping her. All the lights but one went out, leaving just a small island of light for the Doctor. She felt they had done it on purpose to intimidate her. 

“Trust me, I’ve had one hell of a day so right now you do not want to see what happens if you make me ANGRY!“ She shouted surprising herself. Something just snapped in her mind. Like a trapped animal lashing out at last. There was so much pent up anger and frustration, a thousand year’s worth of regret and helplessness, boiling to the surface. The shadows visibly recoiled for a moment.

“If you don’t let me pass, I swear I will cast you into the nearest sun going supernova. I don’t know what God you pray to but there is not a single thing in the universe that will be able to protect you. I am the Doctor and that is my wife that you’re trying to keep me from. You have no idea what I’ve been through since I was here last so my patience is running out. You have no idea what you’re dealing with. Last time you were clever enough to heed my warning, I would suggest you consider this carefully.“ Her voice turned low and threatening. 

“You had one day. The day has passed. You are alone Doctor, you have no means to carry out your threats. They are empty.“ The Vashta Nerada answered. 

“Well that’s a bit rude.“ The Doctor huffed. Of course they were right, at this very moment, she had no means of carrying out those threats. It was a bluff, same as last time. 

“Doctor please, go, it’s fine, I’m fine here, go back to the Tardis.“ River called out. She had no idea whether the Vashta Nerada would let her go but she was damn sure they wouldn’t let her proceed. 

“That is not your decision to make.“ The Doctor shot an angry glare at River on a nearby screen. “I will NOT leave you here. Not when I’m this close to getting you back.“ She didn’t know what would happen if the Vashta Nerada attacked. Sure, she had unlimited regenerations but even those wouldn’t help if her body was gone. River clearly knew that.

“I will never forgive myself if you die here because of me.“ River retorted.

“And I will not forgive myself if I leave you.“ She shot back and returned her attention to the shadows. “Let me through right now or so help me, I will end you.“

“You are weak Doctor, you are spent, we can sense it.“ It was true, she felt the physical drain, she felt weak and empty but she was determined not to let it show. Her adrenaline was keeping her upright and determined. 

“And I’m still so much more powerful than you.“ She smirked. “Tell me, what do the library records say happens when the Doctor is in dire need without a way out.“ There was silence as the Nashta Verada seemed to be considering her question. 

“Never forget that the Doctor has a lot of friends.“ She didn’t exactly know how she knew what was going to happen next. Only the words “Run you clever girl, and remember.“ running through her mind like a distant memory.

“Run, Doctor!“ River shouted and with a bright flash, all the lights in the library lit up like a supernova. She didn’t need to be told twice, she rushed forward right through where the shadows had been a moment ago.

“How are you doing this?“ She called out as she ran down the landing deck, through the shop, towards the room where the access point to the data core was located. 

“CAL is rerouting energy from the core but it won’t last long, the digital world with start crumbling, there are only very limited energy reserves. We will need to restore the flow as soon as possible.“ River answered as she ran past a screen. She reached the gravity platform.

“That’s definitely higher than the crane…“ She tried not to think about it as she sonic-ed the controls and dove into the gravity stream like she had done the last time. CAL’s voice was all around her now:

“Hurry up Doctor, I don’t know how long I can keep them at bay for.“ 

“I have shorter legs now.“ The Doctor managed to respond between laboured breaths as she landed on her feet and carried on down the corridor. If only she was at her physically best but she pushed on. How long would it be before CAL’s artificial world started losing shape and the people saved inside it? She tried not to think about it, her mind already on the next problem: How was she going to get her out of the core and back into her body? She reached the data core and nearly slammed into the terminal, she was going so fast. She turned and scanned the room, no Vashta Nerada. “Seal the room!“ She yelled. “Then you can return power to the core.“ CAL did just that, the doors all around slammed shut, the lights went back to normal and stayed that way, the room was secure for the time being but the Doctor knew the shadows would find a way in. “Right okay, now… uhm…“ She just looked at the terminal, the screen changed and CAL and River reappeared. 

“What now Doctor?“ River asked.

“Just need to find a way to… download you somehow… I was thinking we can use the Tardis’s neuro relay to return your mind to your body but first we have to get you out of here… where’s a USB when you need one… didn’t even bring my phone cable…“

“You’re going to download me onto your phone?“ She asked in disbelief.

“No… well… maybe, don’t know, probably not enough storage, bloody iPhone, always saying storage is full… you’d think they could invest a bit less in the design and more in the storage capacity, wouldn’t you.“ She groaned in annoyance. 

“Really not the time to be thinking about that.“

“Right, yeah, wife, mind, body. Focus.“ She looked around to see if she could find anything useful. She spotted River’s old screwdriver, still plugged into the computer. “Could work, should work, if it’s stable enough… would need to go back to the Tardis quickly…“

“You’re not downloading me onto that again, barely made it here the last time.“ River launched a protest.

“Don’t think we have much of a choice…“ The lights began to flicker, the Vashta Nerada were getting closer. She unplugged the screwdriver and scanned it with her own. It was still in working order. She pulled out her phone and called the fam in the Tardis again. 

“Doctor, what’s taking you so long?“ Yaz asked.

“Bit busy over here, is River okay?“ The Doctor retorted. 

“Still unconscious but breathing if that’s what you mean.“

“Right, great. Remember what you did earlier when the Tardis transported her? Need you to do that again, just hook up your phone and I’ll transmit our coordinates, the Tardis will do the rest.“ 

“Okay done.“ 

“Right…“ The Doctor breathed and looked at River on the screen. 

“Are you sure about this Doctor?“ River asked.

“It’s our best chance… with the Vashta Nerada everywhere, I don’t think I’ll be able to come back. This is it River, it’s now or never.“ She took a deep breath torn between excitement and anxiety. 

“I have faith in you.“ That was all she needed to know. 

“See you on the other side.“ The Doctor took one last look at her on the screen, then plugged the screwdriver back in and directed her own sonic at it. There were sparks and suddenly the screen and all the lights went out. She grabbed the screwdriver and sonic-ed her phone kicking the Tardis into action. Within seconds she was inside the Tardis, the fam welcoming her with relieved smiles. She looked at the old screwdriver in her hand. Nearly there. “Hi fam, sorry fam, bit of time pressure.“ She ducked under the console and pulled out a set of wires. She took apart the casing of the screwdriver and hocked up the cables. Then she dove back under to retrieve a nero interface headset and rushed over to River placing it on her head carefully. She wished she had time to take a moment to just look at her wife, be grateful that she was alive and here, healing up after everything they had been through but she didn’t have that kind of time. She rushed back to the console. “Right Old Girl, please do this one thing for me, one more miracle, please…“ She took a deep breath and connected the circuits. On one of the monitors lines and lines of code started appearing.

“Is it working?“ Ryan asked carefully, they were all holding their breaths.

“It’s doing something…“ The Doctor replied, she looked around to River who seemed to be doing okay, then back at the screen. Then suddenly, the writing stopped and it read one single line. 

“No Data.“ 

“What do you mean there is no data.“ The Doctor suddenly felt as if she was falling, tumbling down a dark hole. She couldn’t breath. “FIND HER!“ She yelled and smashed her fists onto the console but the screen continued reading “No data.“ 

“Doctor…“ She ignored Yaz, didn’t even register her voice. Her mind was going into overdrive. There had to be a mistake, there had been a transfer she had to be somewhere! They couldn’t go back, the Vashta Nerada had taken the whole planet. What if she wasn’t anywhere? What if she downloaded and just… disappeared. 

“No, no, NO!“ She shook with uncontrollable anger. She had been so close, this should have worked, where did she go wrong? It couldn’t be that after all this she just lost her forever. She sunk to her knees sobbing. 

“Doctor.“ Graham tried to get her attention. His voice seemed to come from very far away as she was unrevealing and falling deeper and deeper into her desperation. 

“Doctor, please…“ Ryan touched her shoulder and pulled away. She had no capacity for human interaction. 

“Sweetie…“ She froze, her mind snapping back to the present, she blinked through her tears and realised Yaz and Graham were helping River sit up. “Stop having a mental breakdown over there and get over here.“ Her voice was raspy and weak but she was conscious, she was looking at her, she was speaking. 

“River…“ The Doctor nearly fell over as she scrambled to her feet and rushed over. She slammed into her with almighty force and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. 

“It’s alright sweetie, I’m here…“ River kissed the top of her head as she sobbed into the crook of her neck. 

“Is there another catch to this? How did it work when the Tardis said there was no data?“ She sniffed not quite believing this was real yet. 

“Upload completed darling, of course there will be no more data after that you lovable moron… Maybe you should have come to look at me rather than the screen, hm?“ River managed a little chuckle. “Not so tight darling, it’ll take a while longer to fully heal, I’ve had quite the shock you know.“ 

“Are you making a joke right now?“ The Doctor sniffed. 

“Maybe.“ She shrugged with an exhausted smile. “Now stop second guessing everything and kiss me.“

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope the ending did the rest of the story justice! I am already working on a few more River/13 fics, several shorter bits and some ideas for longer ones as well so hopefully will have some more for you soon if you're interested! <3


End file.
